Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Should sport be part of the school curriculum, or should it be left to the individual to organize? composition

Should sport be part of the school curriculum, or should it be left to the individual to organize? composition DqjWj
Regular physical activity plays an essential life in a person’s life and helps us to stay both physically and emotionally healthy. Doctors all over the world raise the alarm about the degeneration of children health and physical conditions. Moreover, an increasing number of infants are suffering from obesity. Therefore I consider in my point of view sport should be part of the school curriculum as it provides colossal benefits to infants. The greatest advantage of the sport is that it helps people to stay healthy and avoid illness. One of the most important benefits is decreased risk of obesity which is a typical problem among modern kids. Sport improves the cardiovascular system, activities reduce c muscular tension, strengthen the lungs, reduce blood sugar levels and regulate blood pressure. People who are in sports are more energetic than those who are not going in for sport. A further advantage is that sport stimulates brain activity. Working out and regular exercises help improve your mental health. The high numbers of students who are in sport achieve better results in class. Finally, children who engage in sport are more social. Feeling a part of a team assists them to collaborate with their contemporaries. Sport can help to conquer shyness and be an extravert that is an essential trait and can help in the future life. However, some people state that sport should not be included in the school curriculum and they point out several blockages. The most considerable is that sport can be risky. Some sports like football, hockey basketball can be dangerous. Many injuries occur during exercises. Collisions and falls can hurt you. The other argument against is that sport in school is a waste of time. Playing sports is a physical activity that is added to the main lessons. Tiredness accumulates and can lead to fatigue, insomnia and even depression, as well as to frequent illnesses, as the child's body weakens. Also sports period might leave children with less time for academic subjects. As a result, some students might perform poorly in exams. Finally, students should choose what they want to do. Some people dislike sport. Every child should do the exercises that he can do and do the kind of sport that he likes. To sum up, I want to express my opinion. Although there are some points against sport as a compulsory part of the school curriculum, I strongly believe that Physical Education should be an essential component of the school program. Owing to sport infants can receive a lot of benefits such as excellent health, being fit and active. Additionally, they learn important life skills.
Regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
plays an essential life in a person’s life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to stay both
physically
and
emotionally
healthy. Doctors all over the world raise the alarm about the degeneration of children health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
conditions.
Moreover
, an increasing number of infants are suffering from obesity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I consider in my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should be part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum as it provides colossal benefits to infants.

The greatest advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay healthy and avoid illness.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits
is decreased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of obesity which is a typical problem among modern kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the cardiovascular system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
c muscular tension, strengthen the lungs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
blood sugar levels and regulate blood pressure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more energetic than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not going in for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. A
further
advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
stimulates brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Working out and regular exercises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your mental health. The high numbers of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
achieve better results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Finally
, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
are more social. Feeling a part of a team assists them to collaborate with their contemporaries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to conquer shyness and be an extravert
that is
an essential trait and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the future life.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should not
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
curriculum and
they point out several blockages. The most considerable is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can be risky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like football, hockey basketball can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
injuries occur during exercises. Collisions and falls can hurt you. The other argument against is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a waste of time. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the main lessons. Tiredness accumulates and can lead to fatigue, insomnia and even depression,
as well
as to frequent illnesses, as the child's body weakens.
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
period might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
children with less time for academic subjects.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students might perform
poorly
in exams.
Finally
, students should choose what they want to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dislike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Every child should do the exercises that he can do and do the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
that he likes.

To sum up, I want to express my opinion. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a compulsory part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
Education should be an essential component of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program. Owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
infants can receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits such as excellent health,
being fit
and active.
Additionally
, they learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Should sport be part of the school curriculum, or should it be left to the individual to organize? composition

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    the toppic of a tourist customer who asked for advice on using public transport when they were traveling in Da Nang
    Today I will give a presentation on the toppic of a tourist customer who asked for advice on using public transport when they were traveling in Da Nang. When I went out, I happened to meet someone traveling to Da Nang who was looking for a way to travel easily. I advised her on the types of public t...
  • 5band
    explain the upward shifts between secondary to high school education
    This is high tedency to gap between their Secondary to high school education. Few meses do not go straight away to the college but ride the world for a moment. In my sentiment positive aspects have more than its negative aspects. To Commence with, Tour to world for a sixty second is pleasant for the...
  • 5.5band
    It is better for college students to live far away from home
    The question of whether undergraduates should live independently of their parents while in college is one that I find both fascinating and very personal. While many people would agree with this, I feel it is dependent on the individual's culture and upbringing at home. This is extremely frequent in...
  • 6band
    It is better to have various skills than to specialize in one skill in order to succeed.
    In modern society, due to low employment, people tend to encounter several hardships in attaining employment. According to the National Statistics Office, in the year 2021, half of the Korean population have no occupation. Whereas the consensus view seems that it is better to specialize in a certain...
  • 5band
    abouy hobby that you enjoy now
    I have never really been short of hobbies as I always like to try new and interesting things. But one particular hobby, which has stuck with me more or less always, is listening to music. Yes, I love listening to music – all kinds of music – pretty much all the time, unless, of course, I am sleeping...
  • 6band
    It is better to have various skills in order to succeed.
    In modern society, due to low employment, people tend to encounter several hardships in attaining employment. According to the National Statistics Office, in the year 2021, half of the Korean population have no occupation. Whereas the consensus view seems that it is better to specialize in a certain...