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tell about a true story in your life

tell about a true story in your life o57yV
when i was 12 years old. After being announced that we would go on a trip to Cuc Phuong national park, all of us super excited as it was the trip we had a long journey together. And that unforgettable day finally came. We set off quiet early at 6. 00 a. m. Once hours later, we reached our destination. Everyone felt a bit tired so we took a break and had a meal. In the afternoon, it was time for us to explore the national park. But because of our excitement and curiosity, we ignored the tour guide's warning and half of my class got lost in the forest including me.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was 12 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. After
being announced
that we would go on a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cuc
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phuong
national park, all of us super excited as it was the trip we had a long journey together. And that unforgettable day
finally
came. We set off quiet early at 6. 00 a. m. Once hours later, we reached our destination. Everyone felt a bit tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we took a break and had a meal. In the afternoon, it was time for us to explore the national park.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our excitement and curiosity, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the tour guide's warning and half of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lost in the forest including me.
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IELTS essay tell about a true story in your life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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