Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Tell a story abou your first love that you can't forget

Tell a story abou your first love that you can't forget n1Vxg
For me, first love is something that I can never forget in my whole life because the human brain always tends to remember the first time and the last time of everything whether it is a good or bad experience. High school is the best time in my life as I opened my heart to one special personfirst time. When I was an 18 year - old high school student, I was a depressed and introverted girlwho always spent most of my break time in class with a few friends and I was afraid of meeting new people also I rarely smiled at that time until I met a special boy who completely changed my life and my personality traits. One day, my teacher introduced a new male student to my class and when he entered my class, I was doing some exercises so I didn’t notice his appearance in my class until I heard noisy screams of many girls in my class because of him. Therefore, I looked at him and for a moment my eyes caught his eyes and we gazed into each other’s eyes as my heart beat furiously. At that moment my ears started to hear noisy sounds around lower and lower as I was drawn to him since his eyes sparkled and glistened under the light of the sun. I admitted that he was so appealing and handsome that’s why it was not strange for him to be popular in my school. After my teacher introduced him, my teacher told him to sit next to me and I was astonished at first then tried to tell my teacher an excuse so that my teacher could rethink and set that attractive boy to sit somewhere else but unfortunately, my teacher didn’t change her decision so he approached me and sat next to me afterward, for a minute I could sense the envy from other girls behind me, which made me shivers. That was the first time I sat next to a handsome boy and I was too shy so I rarely talked to him first and tried not to touch his hands while writing. In the breaktime, as normally I just stayed in my class but he went out with new friends around school. When I looked at him, he was sitting on a bench in my school yard and talking with other people under rays of sunlight with a smile on his face, which made me realize I and he were different, he was an open and nice person however I was too reserved and quite. For a moment I wanted to be just like him and I hated my personallity a lot. On the next day, he came to class earlier than me and he greeted me and asked me some questions about me because he wanted to know more about me but I was shy so I just greeted him back and I didn’t answer him. Maybe he thought that I was rude but I hoped he could understand me, just because of my weird personality. After about thirty minutes, some of my classmates entered the class and a group of girls flocked around him and they asked me if I could move to somewhere else to sit for a bit because they wanted to have a conversation with him, as normally I was going to stand up and move but he told to those girls that he didn’t want me to move to somewhere else so he told me to stay with him. When those girls heard his words, they were totally jealous of me and they gave me angry eyes which I can sense and I was quite scared of them so luckily after someminutes a bell rang and I was saved. While I was in math class, I realized that he was good at math and he could solve any difficult math exercises that other people couldn’t do solve and one time I was thinking about how to solve one exercise in math but suddenly my teacher called me to go to the stage to do it so I was too afraid and nervous then he realized that I didn’t know how to solve it and he gave me his answer with sparkled eyes and happy smile, which made my face turned red also in that moment I fell in love with him. Later in the breaktime, he asked me if I wanted to have breakfast with him, I was going to turn down his invitation but he stopped me and just holded my right hand and went out with him, he bought me a bread that I liked and ate with him, his actions touched my heart and I had a crush on him already. Afterward, I gradually got used to him and became more open because he always talked to me and introduced me many friends, I didn’t realize how much I had changed since I met him and whenever he was with me, he always told me about many funny stories just to make me smile. Afterthat, I was decided to confess my love to him but I was afraid that he could reject it so I always thought that I could confess my feelings to him another days and it kept repeating over and over until one day he was absent from class and I felt sad because I missed him a lot and one of my friend announced me that he went abroad already but I didn’t believe until I saw his letter that he wrote to me, he said he had feelings for me. I couldn’t imagine how I felt, it was like chaos of emotions I felt sad, happy, angry in a moment. I tried to contact him but he was gone and I didn’t have his social medias so I couldn’t text him that I also loved him. Up to now, I still feel really regret whenever I miss him and think about him. I wish I could confess my feelings to him earlier and said thanks for everything that he gave me and that’s a lesson I could never forget in my whole life that don’t wait for other days to do something that I can do today.
For me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is something that I can never forget in my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the human brain always tends to remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of everything whether it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as I opened my heart to one special
Possible spelling mistake found.
personfirst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. When I was an 18 year
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
student, I was a depressed and introverted
Possible spelling mistake found.
girlwho
always spent most of my break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with a few
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
I was afraid of meeting new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
I rarely smiled at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
until I met a special boy who completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and my personality traits. One day, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
introduced a new male student to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and when he entered my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I was doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I didn’t notice his appearance in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
until I heard noisy screams of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of him.
Therefore
, I looked at him and for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
caught his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eyes and
we gazed into each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
as my heart beat
furiously
. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
my ears
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to hear noisy sounds around lower and lower as I
was drawn
to him since his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
sparkled and glistened under the light of the sun. I admitted that he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
appealing and handsome that’s why it was not strange for him to be popular in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. After my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
introduced him, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
told
him to sit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I
was astonished
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
then tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
an excuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
could rethink and set that attractive boy to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sit


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
somewhere
else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
her decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he approached me and sat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
to me afterward, for a minute I could sense the envy from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
behind me, which made me shivers. That was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I sat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
to a handsome
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boy and
I was too shy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I rarely talked to him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and tried not to touch his hands while writing. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
breaktime
, as
normally
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stayed in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he went out with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. When I looked at him, he was sitting on a bench in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
yard and talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under rays
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sunlight
with a smile on his face, which made me realize
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
I and
he were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, he was an open and nice person
however
I was too reserved and
Did you mean "quiet"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quite
. For a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wanted
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like him and I hated my
Possible spelling mistake found.
personallity
a lot. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
day, he came to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
earlier than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
he
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
greeted


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
me
and asked me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions about me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wanted
to know more about me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was shy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
greeted him back and I didn’t answer him. Maybe he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I was rude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hoped he could understand me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my weird personality. After about thirty minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my classmates entered the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
flocked around
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
they
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
asked


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
me
if I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to somewhere else to sit for a bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wanted
to have a conversation with him, as
normally
I was going to stand up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
told
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
that he didn’t want me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to somewhere else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
told
me to stay with him. When those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
heard his words, they were
totally
jealous of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
they gave me angry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
which I can
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sense and
I was quite scared of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
luckily after
Possible spelling mistake found.
someminutes
a bell
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rang and
I
was saved
. While I was
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I realized that he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
math and
he could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
any difficult math exercises that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
couldn’t do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I was thinking about how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
one exercise in math
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suddenly
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
called me to go to the stage to do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I was too afraid and nervous then he realized that I didn’t know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he gave me his answer with sparkled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
and happy smile, which made my face turned red
also
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
I fell in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with him. Later in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
breaktime
, he asked me if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wanted
to have breakfast with him, I was going to turn down his invitation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
me and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "held", the past tense form of the verb 'hold'?
holded
my right hand and went out with him, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
me
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "bread".
a bread
that I liked and ate with him, his actions touched my heart and I had a crush on him already. Afterward, I
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to him and became more open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
always
talked to me and introduced me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, I didn’t realize how much I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
since I met him and whenever he was with me, he always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
told
me about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me smile.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, I
was decided
to confess my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was afraid that he could reject it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I could confess my feelings to him another days and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
repeating
over and over until one day he was absent from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and I felt sad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I missed him a lot and one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
announced me that he went abroad already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I didn’t believe until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
his letter that he wrote to me, he said he had feelings for me. I couldn’t imagine how I felt, it was like chaos of emotions I felt sad, happy, angry in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
. I tried to contact him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
was gone
and I didn’t have his social medias
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I couldn’t text him that I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
him. Up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I
still
feel
really
regret whenever I miss him and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about him. I wish I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
could


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
confess
my feelings to him earlier and said thanks for everything that he gave me and that’s a lesson I could never forget in my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that don’t wait for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
days to do something that I can do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Tell a story abou your first love that you can't forget

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
1047 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Tell a story abou your first love that you can't forget