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The topic related to children’s education is becoming the top concern of the whole society. And the issue of whether parents or schools should be responsible of teaching their children to the good members in society has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of there views. Personally, I believe that need cooperation between schools and parents in education children.

The topic related to children’s education is becoming the top concern of the whole society. And the issue of whether parents or schools should be responsible of teaching their children to the good members in society has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of there views. Personally, I believe that need cooperation between schools and parents in education children. w7aXe
The topic related to children’s education is becoming the top concern of the whole society. And the issue of whether parents or schools should be responsible of teaching their children to the good members in society has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of there views. Personally, I believe that need cooperation between schools and parents in education children. First of all, the family have an important role in the formation of the children’s personality. The parent grow up children when they is infant. The parent can impact to their character through a lot of daily routine. For example, when their parents always have conflict, angry the children will become have antisocial behavior. They can have behavior violence. Meanwhile, the children have a peaceful childhood, it help them have a positive view of society. Beside, the children spend many time in house, so they can be easy access or learn skill, behavior of their members family. Action and character of children were beginning to take shape very early. Therefore, the information, knowledge, skill or behavior of members in family affect direct to the development character of children. On the other hand, the school is society, which is diminished. In schools, the children access a lot of different people. don’t look like in home, the children is not central, they must study, work might not be freedom work. In here, they learn knowledge, skill or behavior, which enable them to exist in society, where have a lot of pitfall, struggle, …. In addition, through their friends or teacher, they can have a few experience. For instance, their friends have a mistake when working examine because they is not careful and industrious, the children can come across this mistake and have better examine. In conclusion, it seem to be that, the school, family both influence to the development of children in different aspect. They help children can option develop all character and knowledge, skill, which help them can easy across pitfall in society.
The topic related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education is becoming the top concern of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. And the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of
Did you mean "their"?
there
views.
Personally
, I believe that need cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in education children.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the formation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
grow up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
is
infant. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can impact to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
daily routine.
For example
, when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always have conflict, angry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become have antisocial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. They can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
violence. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a peaceful childhood, it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
them have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Beside, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
Did you mean "many times" or "much time"?
many time
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be easy access or learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of their members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Action and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were beginning to take shape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early.
Therefore
, the information, knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of members in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
affect direct to the development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
of children.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which
is diminished
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
don
’t look like in home, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not central, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
study, work might not be freedom work. In here, they learn knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, which enable them to exist in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, where have
Possible agreement error. The noun pitfall seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of pitfalls".
a lot of pitfall
, struggle, ….
In addition
, through their friends or teacher, they can have a
Possible agreement error. The noun experience seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little experience".
few experience
.
For instance
, their friends have a mistake when working examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
is
not careful and industrious, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across this mistake and have better examine.

In conclusion
, it
Did you mean "seems"?
seem
to be that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
both influence to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspect. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can option develop all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
and knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them can easy across pitfall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay The topic related to children’s education is becoming the top concern of the whole society. And the issue of whether parents or schools should be responsible of teaching their children to the good members in society has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of there views. Personally, I believe that need cooperation between schools and parents in education children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The topic related to children’s education is becoming the top concern of the whole society. And the issue of whether parents or schools should be responsible of teaching their children to the good members in society has been in a heated debate. This essay will offer an in depth look into both of there views. Personally, I believe that need cooperation between schools and parents in education children.