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Improvements in technology bring many environmental issues, a lot of people think that people need have simpler lives to solve environmental problems, from my perspective, I believe that technology is the way to reduce detrimental impacts of people’ s activities to environment.

Improvements in technology bring many environmental issues, a lot of people think that people need have simpler lives to solve environmental problems, from my perspective, I believe that technology is the way to reduce detrimental impacts of people’ s activities to environment. 1k1mG
Improvements in technology bring many environmental issues, a lot of people think that people need have simpler lives to solve environmental problems, from my perspective, I believe that technology is the way to reduce detrimental impacts of people’ s activities to environment. On the one hand, activities of resident cause many negative effects to environment, individuals need have live less depend on technology. Nowadays, walking, cycling and public transport are encouraged, because demanding use car increase significantly, more and more road become traffic jam, this contribute on high level of exhaust emission, air pollution. Moreover, a lot of technology, which help individual’s live become convenient, comfortable also take part in global warming. There use electricity to operate, especially, electricity is created by fossil fuel and others material, which relate a lot of co2 to environment, which pave a way climate change. To reduce affect of people to environment, the annual event call earth hours is organise, which trun light of 60 minutes. On the other hand, technology also is a method, which not only decline processing climate change, but also bring the happiness for individuals. Thank to the development of technology, people can create electricity from a few new materials such as solar, wave, wind, … as a result, people do not need rely on non- renewable, and people can use electricity without considerably damaging the environment. Besides, using technology in the product process, this help save materials, reducing the problem of industrial waste. Last but not least, a lot of items can be recycled such as paper, glass, which enable to decline a large number of waste in the environment, the problems of pollution are solved. In conclusion, while some people think that they should live simpler lives to prevent environmental issues, I would argue that these problems can be dealt with by technological improvements.
Improvements in
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technology
bring
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many
environmental issues, a
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lot
of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need have simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to solve environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, from my perspective, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
detrimental impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
s activities to environment.

On the one hand, activities of resident cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, individuals need have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
less depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Nowadays, walking, cycling and public transport
are encouraged
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
demanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
car increase
significantly
, more and more road become traffic jam,
The verb 'contribute' is plural. Did you mean: "this contributes"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this contribute
on high level of exhaust emission, air pollution.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
become convenient, comfortable
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in global warming. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
to operate,
especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is created
by fossil fuel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
material, which relate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of co2 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, which pave a way climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
affect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
call earth hours is
Consider using a past participle here: "organised".
organise
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
trun
light of 60 minutes.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
is a method, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decline processing climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring the happiness for individuals. Thank to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
from a few new materials such as solar, wave, wind, …
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need
Did you mean "to rely"?
rely
on non- renewable, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
without
considerably
damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Besides
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the product process, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save materials, reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of industrial waste. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of items can
be recycled
such as paper, glass, which enable to decline
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
waste in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of pollution
are solved
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
environmental issues, I would argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be dealt
with by technological improvements.
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IELTS essay Improvements in technology bring many environmental issues, a lot of people think that people need have simpler lives to solve environmental problems, from my perspective, I believe that technology is the way to reduce detrimental impacts of people’ s activities to environment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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