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Television'a affect children's behavior

Television'a affect children's behavior xmrKa
Nowadays children spend a lot of time watching television. It has an effect on their behavior. This effect has downsides but it has not upsides. Firstly, children watch TV programs and advertisements. It affects children's behavior. Because nowdays there are many violence and unpleasant scenes. It is wrong choice for children. And most of them prefer to watch a cartoon. But there are many fight, violence and other unpleasant scenes. And these programes have impact on children's behavior. According to these programes children's minds may change. However, children spend a lot of time watching televison. For example, they watch TV when they get up. Almost, they watch TV all day. Spending a lot of time watch TV or watch TV are the same thoughts. But some people say these thoughts are completely different. It is wrong. Personally, both of them affect children's behavior badly. These avdertisements are created bad effects on children. They tend so bad behavior. This behavior will affect future life badly. İn conclusion, government prevent it for removing violence advertisements and other scenes. And children must be under parental control. Children mustn't watch TV a lot. And so effect of television is reduced on children.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time watching television. It has an
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effect
on their
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behavior
. This
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effect
has downsides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has not upsides.
Firstly
,
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV programs and advertisements. It affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violence and unpleasant scenes. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
choice for
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children
. And most of them prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a cartoon.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
Possible agreement error. The noun fight seems to be countable; consider using: "many fights".
many fight
, violence and other unpleasant scenes. And these
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "programs", the plural form of the noun 'program'?
programes
have impact on
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children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. According to these
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "programs", the plural form of the noun 'program'?
programes
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children's
minds may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
However
,
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children
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
televison
.
For example
, they
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watch
TV when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up. Almost, they
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watch
TV all day. Spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV are the same thoughts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say these thoughts are completely
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different
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Personally
, both of them affect
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children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
badly
. These
Possible spelling mistake found.
avdertisements
are created
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They tend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
will affect future life
badly
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
conclusion, g
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
overnment
p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
revent
it for removing violence advertisements and other scenes. And
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children
m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ust
be under parental control.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
mustn't w
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
atch
TV a
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lot
. And s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of television is r
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
educed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Television'a affect children's behavior

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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