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Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much.

Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much. PYMB
Television has always been remarkable way to influence people. And it is believe that sports show on T. V encourage the young people to do exercise. I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. Firstly, Sports channels does not enthusiasm youth because, In the present era there are many channels available for the entertainment. So young people mostly watch these channels as compared to watching sporting programs. They think that sports show make them feel bored because it is very time consuming task. This can make you believe that why young generation avoid to watch these channels. Secondly young people do not take intrest in these shows because it fails to conveys the importance of these tasks and does not provide right information and precautions how to perform them. which result mostly people fails to perform these tasks own their own. For Instance study of sports authority 2015, shows that 15 out of 20 people lack to perform these tasks because they do not have much information how to perform them. To conclude, This essay discussed about the why young generation avoid spots program due to lack of information and they do not know the importance of these activities.
Television has always been
Please check whether an article is missing: "a remarkable".
remarkable
way to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And it is
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
on T. V encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do exercise. I completely disagree with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
channels does not enthusiasm youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, In the present era there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
channels available for the entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these channels as compared to watching sporting programs. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel bored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you believe that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation avoid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these channels.

Secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it fails to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "convey".
conveys
the importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
and does not provide right information and precautions how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
result
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
fails
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For Instance
study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
authority 2015,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that 15 out of 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have much information how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
them.

To conclude
, This essay
Did you mean simply "discussed the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about the
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation avoid spots program due to lack of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they do not know the importance of these activities.

IELTS essay Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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