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Television is becoming an indispensable tool in people’s life with boost development of Internet. It is commonly believed that some programs with shots or scenes of violence begin to flood the TV screens and they claim that the young individuals,as well as the whole society,are unavoidably affected.In my perspective, I think it has adverse impact on the public.

Television is becoming an indispensable tool in people’s life with boost development of Internet. It is commonly believed that some programs with shots or scenes of violence begin to flood the TV screens and they claim that the young individuals, as well as the whole society, are unavoidably affected. In my perspective, I think it has adverse impact on the public. mbAbO
One prominent reason is that the violence contents set detrimental role models for young viewers, the youngsters will imitate the scenes and actions of fighting and crimes in TV programs, thus becoming criminals. Without the guidance of teachers and parents, juvenile may consider those actions as commonplace things in real life, instead of crime committing because of the blank of the crime-relating laws Secondly，such kinds of programs have negative influence on adults as well。For example，Watching the shots or scenes of erotic and provoking episode takes an significant negative effect on their qualities, although they have higher ability to distinguish right from wrong and they have stronger awareness of law. As a result, they tend to be more aggressive， What’s more, while it is true that some of the scenes of the films or television are reflect the things in our life, it is undeniable that it will educate the people’s right to know the truth of the world，but producing knock on effect on audience to some extent，for instant，many real-life cases reveal various criminals of robbing a bank，burglarizing a household from TV，which cause the chaos society。 In conclusion，despite the fact that some violence scenes in films establish a right for normal people to protect themselves, I believe that TV have some negative influence on individuals and even on society，the amount of violence in films and TV should be controlled。
One prominent reason is that the violence contents set detrimental role models for young viewers, the youngsters will imitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
and actions of fighting and crimes in TV programs,
thus
becoming criminals. Without the guidance of teachers and parents, juvenile may consider those actions as commonplace things in real life,
instead
of crime committing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the blank of the crime-relating
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
laws


The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "Secondly, such".
Secondly，such
kinds of programs have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on adults as
Possible spelling mistake found.
well。For
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "example, Watching".
example，Watching
the shots or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
of erotic and provoking episode takes
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their qualities, although they have higher ability to distinguish right from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wrong and
they have stronger awareness of law.
As a result
, they tend to be more
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "aggressive,".
aggressive，


What’s more, while it is true that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
of the films or television are
Consider using a past participle here: "reflected".
reflect
the things in our life, it is undeniable that it will educate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s right to know the truth of the world，
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
producing knock on effect on audience to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "extent, for".
extent，for
instant，
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
real-life cases reveal various criminals of robbing a
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "bank, burglarizing".
bank，burglarizing
a household from
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "TV, which".
TV，which
cause the chaos
Possible spelling mistake found.
society。


In
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "conclusion, despite".
conclusion，despite
the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
in films establish a right for normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to protect themselves, I believe that TV have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on individuals and even on
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "society, the".
society，the
amount of violence in films and TV should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
controlled。
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IELTS essay Television is becoming an indispensable tool in people’s life with boost development of Internet. It is commonly believed that some programs with shots or scenes of violence begin to flood the TV screens and they claim that the young individuals, as well as the whole society, are unavoidably affected. In my perspective, I think it has adverse impact on the public.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Television is becoming an indispensable tool in people’s life with boost development of Internet. It is commonly believed that some programs with shots or scenes of violence begin to flood the TV screens and they claim that the young individuals,as well as the whole society,are unavoidably affected.In my perspective, I think it has adverse impact on the public.