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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Television has destroyed communication among friends and family for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Kweo6
From the dawn of human civilisation, technology continues to extend its roots with each passing day and invention of Television is one of the example. Some people believes that it ruined their communication and others thought it helps is to make our bondings stronger. This eassay is an attempt of discussing the impact of television on our communication. On one hand, in fast-pacing world, every individual have their own choices and different likes or dislikes. For example, children mostly like to watch cartoons and younger ones spend their time on watching movies. In some families there are different rooms having different TV per family member which ruined their communication and they hardly with each other as they like to watch alone. Furthermore, there are number of people who describes TV's as a threat because according to them TV rise the conflicts in family. For instance, in middle class, family members always ought to fight to play their favourite shows which are not liked by others owing to which they stop talking with each other. However, several people believes that it makes their bonding stronger as in number of houses family members sit together to watch one particular show. To exemplify, the family programmes like marriage movie of relatives or family members, comedy shows etc. Moreover, Television always trying to update us about our country and world that is it provides us information related to elections, awaring us about different new rules and regulations imposed on common people. To conclude irrefutably, after discussing all, it can be epitomized TV effect our communication on some extent but it also makes our bonding stronger and keep us updated. So, in my opinion television not have much effect on our communocation as everything in this world have its own merit with demerits
From the dawn of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
, technology continues to extend its roots with each passing day and invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is one of the example.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that it ruined their communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
stronger. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassay
is an attempt of discussing the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on our communication.

On one hand, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-pacing world, every individual have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
likes or dislikes.
For example
, children
mostly
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cartoons and younger ones spend their time on watching movies. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
rooms having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
TV per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
which ruined their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
communication and
they hardly with each other as they like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
alone.
Furthermore
, there are number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
TV's as a threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
according to them TV rise the conflicts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, in middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
always ought to fight to play their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which are not liked by others owing to which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
talking with each other.

However
, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their bonding stronger
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
in number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
sit together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
one particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. To exemplify, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
like marriage movie of relatives or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, comedy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
etc.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
always trying to update us about our country and world
that is
it provides us information related to elections,
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
us about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations imposed on common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
irrefutably
, after discussing all, it can
be epitomized
TV effect our communication on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our bonding stronger and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us updated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
not have much effect on our
Possible spelling mistake found.
communocation
as everything in this world have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merit with demerits
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IELTS essay Television has destroyed communication among friends and family for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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