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Television entertains, but can it also educate? Do you agree?

Television entertains, but can it also educate? Do you agree? 56a1m
Can television educate viewers or it only entertains them? Many people claim that television do not provide right teachings and that it is useless, but I strongly believe that television can teach a lot of things that would be useful for people’s life. To start with, people can learn different languages only watching television. This means that, when people are listening the spoken language or reading the subtitles, they are also learning it. For instance, a lot of children improve their language or they learn another one doing this. Secondly, television has a considerable variety of channels. Therefore, people can watch what is of their interest to learn about and they can also find many channels associated with this specific topic. As a result, people can search something about they want to learn and it would be in the television because of it’s variability. On the other hand, the education is not the same without the human contact. This means that, by television, people are not being educated with real people and they are not accompanied. Consequently, people are not really communicating with others and they can feel boring and even lonely. Taking everything into account, I firmly think that although people can not communicate with someone else and there is not a relationship face to face, television can educate in many different way and a lot of things. People can learn another language or improve their language and they can be learn about a topic they are interested in.
Can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
educate viewers or it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertains them?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
do not provide right teachings and that it is useless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that would be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
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people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. This means that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are listening the spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or reading the subtitles, they are
also
learning it.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language or
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another one doing this.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has a considerable variety of channels.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
what is of their interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
about and
they can
also
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
channels associated with this specific topic.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can search something about they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and it would be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "of its variability"?
of it’s variability
.

On the other hand
, the education is not the same without the human contact. This means that, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
being educated
with real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they are not accompanied.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
really
communicating with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they can feel boring and even lonely.

Taking everything into account, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not communicate with someone else and there is not a relationship face to face,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can educate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language and
they can be
Consider using the past participle "learned", "learnt"?
learn
about a topic they
are interested
in.

IELTS essay Television entertains, but can it also educate? Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
250 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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