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Some people think that student should be told competition skills, while the others claim that collaboration skills should be priority at school.

Some people think that student should be told competition skills, while the others claim that collaboration skills should be priority at school. AjweX
People hold different perspectives about whether competition skills ought to be studied at school or collaboration skills have much more importance on students. In my opinion, I consider that teaching students about team working skills might result in the development of their communication and organisation abilities and have an impact on them the most. On the one hand, it is believed that being competitive is the best way for attaining appropriate skills for future life. Firstly, it might cause students to be more ambitious and motivated. Because wanting victory over rivals might compell them to have principal and straight aims. Students may possess the idea that onward marching competitive skills and demonstrating them in an efficient way can result in victory. Therefore, they will have the right chance to improve self-esteem and intelligence. Moreover, they might try to catch up with more successful students. Due to the fact that wanting to be one step ahead of others is the main feature of being competitive, students may have the sense of awareness that they have lack of some skills or hard work. They could eliminate these gaps simply by trying to keep up with other acknowledged students. On the other hand, learning collaborative skills may lead to the more achievements than being competitive, according to some. I also share the idea that students ought to be told collaboration skills in order to have comprehensive education. Firstly, it improves cooperative abilities and advance tolerance and understanding. Operating in a group of students requires to be patient and indulgent to other's behaviour and ideas. Being accustomed to that kind of situation, students will be able to cope with problems in their future jobs. Moreover, they might have the opportunity to be aware of their own capability. In a team work, the contribution that each member has to provide to the common work might lead to the elimination of boundaries that students have set up for their accomplishments. In conclusion, I consider that for making students best-equipped and most suitable for future life aspects, they should be taught collaboration skills at school.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
whether competition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
ought to
be studied
at school or collaboration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have much more importance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, I consider that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about team working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
result in the development of their communication and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
abilities and have an impact on them the most.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
is the best way for attaining appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for future life.
Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more ambitious and motivated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
wanting victory over rivals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
Possible spelling mistake found.
compell
them to have principal and straight aims.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
may possess the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that onward marching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and demonstrating them
Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient way
can result in victory.
Therefore
, they will have the right chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
self-esteem and intelligence.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
try to catch up with more successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Due to the fact that wanting to be one step ahead of others is the main feature of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have the sense of awareness that they have lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. They could eliminate these gaps
simply
by trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with other acknowledged students.

On the other hand
, learning collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
may lead to the more achievements than being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. I
also
share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
collaboration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in order to have comprehensive education.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
cooperative abilities and advance tolerance and understanding. Operating in a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
requires to be patient and indulgent to other's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Being accustomed
to that kind of situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be able to cope with problems in their future jobs.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have the opportunity to be aware of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capability. In a team work, the contribution that each member
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
provide to the common work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to the elimination of boundaries that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have set up for their accomplishments.

In conclusion
, I consider that for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
best-equipped and most suitable for future life aspects, they should
be taught
collaboration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at school.

IELTS essay Some people think that student should be told competition skills, while the others claim that collaboration skills should be priority at school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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