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Is it a good idea for university student to have a part- time job?

Is it a good idea for university student to have a part- time job? jRV3N
Nowadays, more and more students have part time jobs. Is it a good idea? Maybe it is good or maybe not. But oppositely, I strongly believe that it is ideal for university students to have a part-time job. First of all, part- time job helps students ensure financial issue. Students can earn extra pocket money. With that income, they can pay for daily living and part of tuition. Moreover, many families are not well-off, their parents have to work hard to provide them an appropriate amount of money. Therefore, by working, students help to lessen their familys' burden, because when students can earn money by themselves. It means that their parents can save a big sum of money without working so hard. Someone argues that working-earn money makes students become materialistic and they will spend less time for their study. It is maybe true. However, in the other hand, part- time job will teach them how to manage time and money effectively. They value their time and take advantage of every moment to study. Because students have to work hard to earn some money, they can realize the value of the money they make - it's hard to earn some money from themselves, so they don't want to freely spend money. One more benefit of part-time job is that students can get experience of working. Many people said students just can do low- skill job so the part- time job doesn’t help them anything in the future. They was wrong. Even if it is a low-skill job, it still helps students to complete certain skills for future job. For example, to be a waiter or seller in a shop can help students to be more self- confidence and improve their communication skills. Having a part- time job will bring many benefits, so students should get a part- time job.
Nowadays, more and more
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students
have
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part
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time
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jobs
. Is it a
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good
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idea
? Maybe it is
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good
or maybe not.
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But
oppositely
, I
strongly
believe that it is ideal for university
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students
to have a part-time job.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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part-
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
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helps
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students
ensure financial issue.
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Students
can
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earn
extra pocket
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money
. With that income, they can pay for daily living and
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part
of tuition.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are not well-off, their parents
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have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to provide them an appropriate amount of
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money
.
Therefore
, by working,
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students
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help
to lessen their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "families", the plural form of the noun 'family'?
familys
' burden,
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because
when
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students
can
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earn
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money
by themselves. It means that their parents can save a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sum of
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money
without working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

Someone argues that working-earn
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money
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makes
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students
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
materialistic and
they will spend less
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time
for their study. It is maybe true.
However
, in the other hand,
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part-
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time
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job
will teach them how to manage
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time
and
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money
effectively
. They value their
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time
and take advantage of every moment to study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
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earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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money
, they can realize the value of the
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money
they
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make
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
it's
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hard
to
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earn
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some
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money
from themselves,
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so
they don't want to
freely
spend money.

One more benefit of part-time
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job
is that
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students
can
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get
experience of working.
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Many
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people
said
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students
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just
can do low-
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skill
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job
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so
the
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part-
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time
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job
doesn’t
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help
them anything in the future. They
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
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wrong
. Even if it is a low-
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skill
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job
, it
still
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helps
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students
to complete certain
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skills
for future
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job
.
For example
, to be a waiter or seller in a shop can
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more self- confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Having a
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part-
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time
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job
will bring
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many
benefits,
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so
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students
should
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get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.

IELTS essay Is it a good idea for university student to have a part- time job?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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