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Television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well educated today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well educated today. with this statement? v. 1
It is considered by some that there are some prisoners who ought to be made liable to unpaid local work rather than sentence them to prison. I completely agree with this view and this essay will discuss certain reasons for it. Firstly, some low-level criminals should not be incarcerated, as their violent nature can be eliminated when they work without being paid. There are offences such as street crimes, and other violent offences, which can be avoided if criminals are involved in the unpaid local work. This, in turn, means they would realise the importance of work and its benefits, as they would experience the employment life and think about working in the future for themselves. This would, in turn, foster a sense of responsibility in them. A recent survey by the International Law Firm, for instance, showed a report that 960 men, out of 1200, opt for a job and left street and the low-level offences, due to spending 6 months in some unpaid work, they are made liable to. Secondly, the minor level criminals should not be put behind bars, as this will exacerbate their violent nature. The low-level offenders when spend time in the prison with the high-level offenders, may learned extreme criminal acts from them, which would make them to think about harsh offences. This, in turn, means when they are released from prisons, they are highly likely to opt for serious crimes. A study by the Michigan State University, for example, showed that street crimes offenders in 2014 who were put in prison with murderers and smugglers when released later from jail, act usually to killing other people or involving in smuggling. In conclusion, it is believed by some that some low-level offenders should be made responsible for unpaid work in community instead of sentence them to prison. I fully agree with this notion, as they would realise the critical aspect and need of employment in the future and abandoned criminal acts as well as it is necessary to avoid incarcerating them, as putting them behind bars may convert them into a dangerous criminals.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prisoners who ought to
be made
liable to unpaid local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than sentence them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and this essay will discuss certain reasons for it.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should not
be incarcerated
, as their violent nature can
be eliminated
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without
being paid
. There are
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
such as street crimes, and other violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
, which can
be avoided
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are involved
in the unpaid local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This, in turn, means they would
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and its benefits, as they would experience the employment life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about working in the future for themselves. This would, in turn, foster a sense of responsibility in them. A recent survey by the International Law Firm,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a report that 960
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, out of 1200, opt for a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
street and the low-level
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
, due to spending 6 months in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they
are made
liable to.

Secondly
, the minor level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should not
be put
behind bars, as this will exacerbate their violent nature. The low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
when spend time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
with the high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, may learned extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts from them, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about harsh
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. This, in turn, means when they
are released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, they are
highly
likely to opt for serious crimes. A study by the Michigan State University,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that street crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in 2014 who
were put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
with murderers and smugglers when released later from jail, act
usually
to killing other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or involving in smuggling.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should
be made
responsible for unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in community
instead
of sentence them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, as they would
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the critical aspect and need of employment in the future and abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts
as well
as it is necessary to avoid incarcerating them, as putting them behind bars may convert them into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "criminal"?
criminals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well educated today. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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