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television and video games and their effect on homework

television and video games and their effect on homework wOQ23
Many people, and children in particular, enjoy watching television and playing games. In my opinion, these habits have great benefits for juvenile but if spending too much time on the Internet or smartphone, their leaning is not effective so parents need some solutions to prevent harm to children. Television and video games can be both entertaining and educational. Because after a long and hard day young people should relax and by watching movies or playing games help them reduce stress. Furthermore, they can encourage children with huge access to knowledge. On the other hand, the type of technological inventions could affect negatively on youth. Firstly, they can produce a huge amount of blue light which is harmful to eye. Also, spending too much time to the opposite of the screen will make children fatigue, and kill their intention and motivation to do their homework. There are several actions that could eradicate negative effects of television and video games. Firstly, parents do not allow their children to watch TV while doing homework and need to check whether they are really studying or not. Secondly, parents should place consistent limits on screen time which includes TV, social media, and video games. Also, parents should agree with children that screen time is allowed only after chores and homework are completed. Finally, children are permitted to use phone too early so that they are not addicted media. In conclusion, it might be seen that TV and games have detrimental and beneficial effects on children. Nevertheless, some simple measures can be taken to settle the problems to help children pay more attention on learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
The comma is probably incorrect: "people"
people,
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in particular
, enjoy watching television and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In my opinion, these habits have great benefits for juvenile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the Internet or smartphone, their leaning is not effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
harm to children.

Television and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be both entertaining and educational.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
after a long and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should relax and by watching movies or playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Furthermore
, they can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with huge access to knowledge.
On the other hand
, the type of technological inventions could affect
negatively
on youth.
Firstly
, they can produce a huge amount of blue light which is harmful to eye.
Also
, spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the opposite of the screen will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fatigue, and kill their intention and motivation to do their homework.

There are several actions that could eradicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of television and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV while doing homework and need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether they are
really
studying or not.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should place consistent limits on screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which includes TV, social media, and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after chores and homework
are completed
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are permitted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phone too early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are not addicted media.

In conclusion
, it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have detrimental and beneficial effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple measures can
be taken
to settle the problems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pay more attention on learning.
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IELTS essay television and video games and their effect on homework

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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