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study painting and drawing at school

study painting and drawing at school 8dRWP
Students in high school that should have a development in an all-around way, so they are forced to study art like painting and drawing. Although some people believe that the art classes like painting and drawing are unnecessary, I agree with the view that these classes are really necessary and should be required to study in high school. Students learn art from high school that they can learn some skills like painting and drawing and develop their ability. Most of students don't like learning. Sometimes high school need to arrange courses by force so that all of students can know about art. May be some of them will work in art in the future. Students can learn basic knowledge in high school and these basic knowledge will benefit them for life. There will be more kinds of art subject teachers recruited in high school. It will improve the employment and solve social contradictions. When all people choose a same major, it will lead to some people can not find a job after graduation. Students study art in high school, it is also a choice for students in the future. Opponents of my claim that students learning art may delay the study time in other important subjects. However, this view is untenable in that we can control the time of art courses in high school. The basic courses of art don't need take much time. Maybe a class per week is enough. In conclusion, I agree the view that every students in high school should study art like painting and drawing. It is benefit for the students and society in the future. stu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that should have a development
Consider replacing "in an all-around way" with the adverb for "all-around"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an all-around way
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
are unnecessary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that these classes are
really
necessary and should
be required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

Students learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
and develop their ability. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don't like learning.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
need to arrange courses by force
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
May be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them will work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can learn basic knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and these basic knowledge will benefit them for life.

There will be more kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subject teachers recruited in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the employment and solve social contradictions. When all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose a same major, it will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not find a job after graduation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is
also
a choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the future.

Opponents of my claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
may delay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
time in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects.
However
, this view is untenable in that we can control the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The basic courses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
don't need
Did you mean "to take"?
take
much time. Maybe a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
per week is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the view that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
painting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
. It is benefit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and society in the future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stu
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IELTS essay study painting and drawing at school

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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