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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television and other modern media are thought to make children less active. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Television and other modern media are thought to make children less active. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion. 9B25r
In the current world, visual media has a huge presence across the globe. It is widely argued that children are supposed to be less active because of television and other modern media. From my perspective, I agree with this idea. The main reason is that high-end technological device harms children’s health. This can be explained that if they spend too much time watching television, they will not have time to have exercises to strengthen their bodies, just sit and watch television. As a result, the youngers will eventually become lazy and obese. In addition, not only does modern gadgets influence children physically but it also affects them mentally. Television programs are addictive and many children do not concentrate on other important things like study or an outdoor activity when they become addicted to watching TV programs. For example, action movies contain violent actions which stimulate children for bad behaviors in real life. Youngsters may become more aggressive after watching these programs. In conclusion, media networks have to serve effects on the youth behavior consequences.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, visual media has a huge presence across the globe. It is
widely
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are supposed
to be less active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and other modern media. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. The main reason is that high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
technological device harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that if they spend too much time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, they will not have time to have exercises to strengthen their bodies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
As a result
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers will
eventually
become lazy and obese.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does modern gadgets influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
affects them mentally.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
programs are addictive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not concentrate on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like study or an outdoor activity when they become addicted to watching TV programs.
For example
, action movies contain violent actions which stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors in real life. Youngsters may become more aggressive after watching these programs.
In conclusion
, media networks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
serve effects on the youth behavior consequences.
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IELTS essay Television and other modern media are thought to make children less active. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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