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More and more people are leaving the countryside and going to cities nowadays.

More and more people are leaving the countryside and going to cities nowadays. 5km3V
NOWADAYS, IT HAS BECOME COMMON THAT PEOPLE FROM THE VILLAGES ARE MORE INCLINED TO COME AND SETTLE IN CITIES FOR BETTER STANDARD OF LIVING AND IMPROVING THEIR FINANCIAL STATUS. HOWEVER, THIS TREND CAN AFFECT THEIR ADAPTION TO THELIFESTYLE. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MERITS AND DEMERITS WITH THEIR TREND. TO BEGIN WITH, THE PRICIPIPAL REASON FOR THE PEOPLE TO MIGRATE TO THE CITIES IS WIDE RANGE OF OPPURTUNITIES. AS CITIES ARE THE CENTERS OF TRADE AND COMMERCE, THEY PROVIDE THE PEOPLE WITH EASY EMPLOYMENT AND AS A RESULT, MANY PEOPLE PREFER TO RELOCATE TO CITIES. HOWEVER, THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF MIGRATING TO CITIES IS BETTER EMPLOYMENT, WHICH INDEED HELPS THE PEOPLE TO IMPROVE THEIR ECONOMICAL CONDITIONS. BESIDES, CITIES HAVE BETTER EDUCAIONAL AND HEALTH OPTIONS WHICH ATTRACTS INDIVIDUAL TO STAY IN CITIES. FOR EXAMPLE, MY NEIGHBOURS WHO SHIFTED FROM A RURAL VILLAGE TO CITY LAST MONTH HAD AN URGENT MEDICAL EMERGENCY, WHEN ONE OF THEIR FAMILY MEMBER GOT INJURED IN AN ACCIDENT, FORTUNATELY DUE TO THE AVAILABILITY OF THE MEDICAL SERVICE, HE COULD SURVIVE. HENCE THE MIGRATION TO CITIES HAVE SOME BENEFITS ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE ARE SO MANY DISADVANTAGES IN REGARDS. PEOPLE FACE CULTURE SHOCK AND FACE A HARD TIME TO SETTLE IN CITIES. IF THE TREND OF MOVING TO CITIES INCREASE, THE POPULATION GETS DENSE. AS A RESULT, IT BECOMES DIFFICULT TO PEOPLE TO LIVE. AS THE CITIES GET MORE INHABITATS, THERE IS MORE COMPETITION FOR THE WORK. IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVERYONE TO GET JOBS, THIS ENDS UP PEOPLE TO GET DEPRESSED. FOR INSTANCE, A PERSON WHO WORKS IN A CONSTRUCTION SITE BESIDE MY HOUSE HAS COME FROM A FARWAY COUNTYSIDE TO WORK. AFTER THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE HOUSE GOT COMPLETED HE COULD NOT FIND ANOTHER JOB, BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY INDIVIDUALS TO DO THE SAME OCCUPATION. DESPITE, HE THRIVED A LOT IN SEARCHING A JOB HE FAILED AND THEN DECIDED TO GO BACK TO HIS VILLAGE. THIS WAY OVER POPULATED CITIES AFFECT THE LIFES OF MIGRATED PEOPLE. TO CONCLUDE, I BELIEVE THAT THIS TREND OF MOVING TO DIFFERENT PLACE IS DEBATABLE. THOUGH THERE ARE MANY PERKS OF MOVING TO CITY, THE DRAWBACKS ARE OUTRAGEOUS.
NOWADAYS, IT HAS BECOME COMMON THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
FROM THE VILLAGES ARE MORE INCLINED TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
AND SETTLE IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
FOR BETTER STANDARD OF LIVING AND IMPROVING THEIR FINANCIAL STATUS.
HOWEVER
, THIS TREND CAN AFFECT THEIR ADAPTION TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
THELIFESTYLE
. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MERITS AND DEMERITS WITH THEIR TREND.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
WITH, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PRICIPIPAL
REASON FOR THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO MIGRATE TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
IS WIDE RANGE OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
OPPURTUNITIES
. AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
ARE THE CENTERS OF TRADE AND COMMERCE, THEY PROVIDE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WITH EASY EMPLOYMENT AND
AS A RESULT
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
PREFER TO RELOCATE TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
.
HOWEVER
, THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF MIGRATING TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
IS BETTER EMPLOYMENT, WHICH
INDEED
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPS
THE
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PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
THEIR
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
ECONOMICAL
CONDITIONS.
BESIDES
,
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CITIES
HAVE BETTER
Possible spelling mistake found.
EDUCAIONAL
AND HEALTH OPTIONS WHICH ATTRACTS INDIVIDUAL TO STAY IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
.
FOR EXAMPLE
, MY
Possible spelling mistake. 'NEIGHBOURS' is British English.
NEIGHBOURS
WHO SHIFTED FROM A RURAL VILLAGE TO CITY LAST MONTH HAD AN URGENT MEDICAL EMERGENCY, WHEN ONE OF THEIR FAMILY MEMBER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOT
INJURED IN AN ACCIDENT,
FORTUNATELY
DUE TO THE AVAILABILITY OF THE MEDICAL SERVICE, HE COULD SURVIVE.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
HENCE
THE MIGRATION TO
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CITIES
HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
BENEFITS

ON THE OTHER HAND
, THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
DISADVANTAGES IN REGARDS.
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PEOPLE
FACE CULTURE SHOCK AND FACE A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HARD
TIME TO SETTLE IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
. IF THE TREND OF MOVING TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
INCREASE, THE POPULATION
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GETS
DENSE.
AS A RESULT
, IT BECOMES DIFFICULT TO
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PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
. AS THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
MORE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INHABITATS
, THERE IS MORE COMPETITION FOR THE WORK. IT IS DIFFICULT FOR EVERYONE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
JOBS, THIS ENDS UP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
DEPRESSED.
FOR INSTANCE
, A PERSON WHO WORKS IN A CONSTRUCTION SITE BESIDE MY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HOUSE
HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
FROM A
Possible spelling mistake found.
FARWAY
Possible spelling mistake found.
COUNTYSIDE
TO WORK. AFTER THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HOUSE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOT
COMPLETED HE COULD NOT FIND ANOTHER JOB,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
INDIVIDUALS TO DO THE SAME OCCUPATION. DESPITE, HE THRIVED A LOT IN SEARCHING A JOB HE FAILED AND THEN DECIDED TO GO BACK TO HIS VILLAGE. THIS WAY OVER POPULATED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CITIES
AFFECT THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
LIFES
OF MIGRATED
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
.

TO CONCLUDE
, I BELIEVE THAT THIS TREND OF MOVING TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
PLACE IS DEBATABLE. THOUGH THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
PERKS OF MOVING TO CITY, THE DRAWBACKS ARE OUTRAGEOUS.
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IELTS essay More and more people are leaving the countryside and going to cities nowadays.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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