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celebrities are overpaid. do you agree or disagree?

celebrities are overpaid. do you agree or disagree? q1E5p
Well. . . the subject of celebrities is a subject that is very complex and sometimes even unknown; Because many reputable and well-known people try to hide their lives from ordinary people, and this causes us not to have a lot of accurate information about celebrities. But on the subject of this text, I have to say that I think celebrities spend a lot more money than ordinary people; Yes, I agree with that. One of the reasons I agree with celebrities spending a lot of money is because these people are used to buying expensive clothes, very expensive cars, and usually, these celebrities live in very big and expensive houses. These are the things that make them pay a lot of money. Perhaps, on the other hand, one point can be made, and that is that some celebrities donate to charities or hospitals and the poor, and in this case, they have to pay a lot, both in terms of social status and in In contrast to the reporters who are always following the celebrities and also in the sense that the great wealth of these people makes their contributions not small. In conclusion, I have to say that in my opinion, celebrities spend a lot more money than ordinary people, sometimes for fun and sometimes to help people; However, the cost of celebrities in life is always higher than ordinary people.
Well.
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the
subject of
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celebrities
is a subject
that is
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very
complex and
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sometimes
even unknown;
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Because
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many
reputable and well-known
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people
try to
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hide
their
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lives
from
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ordinary
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people
, and this causes us not to have a
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lot
of accurate information about celebrities.

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But
on the subject of this text, I
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have to
say that I
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think
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celebrities
spend a
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lot
more money than
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ordinary
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people
; Yes, I
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agree
with that. One of the reasons I
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agree
with
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celebrities
spending a
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lot
of money is
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because
these
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people
are
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used
to buying expensive clothes,
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very
expensive cars, and
usually
, these
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celebrities
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live
in
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and expensive
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houses
. These are the things that
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make
them pay a
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lot
of money.

Perhaps,
on the other hand
, one point can
be made
, and
that is
that
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some
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celebrities
donate to charities or hospitals and the poor, and
in this case
, they
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have to
pay a
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lot
, both in terms of social status and in
In contrast
to the reporters who are always following the
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celebrities
and
also
in the sense that the great wealth of these
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their contributions not
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small
.

In conclusion
, I
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have to
say that in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for fun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
;
However
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in life is always higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay celebrities are overpaid. do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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