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Empowerment create problems or not

Empowerment create problems or not rby6n
Empowerment is the power which is given for the people. Mostly, it refers to those who has power to do something. Such things are provided to maintain balance in the our society so that there won't be any chance of being victim to those who don't have such power. There are many facilities for women which is called as women empowerment. Nowadays, it is being used for their own benefits which has cause great difficulties in our community. Firstly, the measure problems seems to be in politics where the politicians has create many conflict on our locality in the name of cast for voting. Secondly, worker who are working under goverments.
Empowerment is the power which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Mostly
, it refers to those who has power to do something. Such things
are provided
to maintain balance in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our society" or "the society"?
the our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there won't be any chance of being victim to those who don't have such power. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities for women which
is called
as women empowerment. Nowadays, it is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits which has cause great difficulties in our community.
Firstly
, the measure problems seems to be in politics where the politicians
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
Use past participle here: "created".
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflict on our locality in the name of cast for voting.
Secondly
, worker who are working under
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
.
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IELTS essay Empowerment create problems or not

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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