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teenagers using phones for socializing

teenagers using phones for socializing ygNQr
In fact that our world had developed greatly in the term of technology many individuals specially teenagers prefer communicating via the internet rather than meeting each other in real life. In my opinion, this case relay on different reasons. One of the reason the development of social media. Social media had become essential aspects that teenagers spend more time on. As a result, they thout that socialising on these websites are enough to meet in person. For instance, when they reply on instagram posts for their friends this is consider as a communication for them. Differences on teenagers characters also is one of these reasons. To illustrate, individuals who used to be an only child in their home it will be difficulte for them to socialise with other people. Althoughe, they depend on online socialising as a way to not meet in person. Since we can not prevent them from online socialising as it is important for our days, we could control this problem by helpful solutions. Secheduling one day of the week to meet relatives and our family in person, which will give them a sense of responsipilites to keep contact with the people we care about them. Doing meetings and special occasions in home inviting people also consider as a solution. Controling the hours of the day in using internet and give them activity to go outside. For example, making activity with parents and other friends. In conclusion, eventhough we can not persude them to socialise in person we could help them to be more active individuals.
In fact that our world had developed
greatly
in the term of technology
many
individuals
specially
teenagers
prefer communicating via the internet
rather
than meeting each other in real life. In my opinion, this case relay on
different
reasons. One of the reason the development of social media.

Social media had become essential aspects that
teenagers
spend more time on.
As a result
, they
thout
that
socialising
on these websites are
enough
to
meet
in person.
For instance
, when they reply on
instagram
posts for their friends this is
consider
as a communication for them.

Differences on
teenagers
characters
also
is one of these reasons.

To illustrate, individuals who
used
to be an
only
child in their home it will be
difficulte
for them to
socialise
with other
people
.
Althoughe
, they depend on online
socialising
as a way to not
meet
in person.

Since we can not
prevent
them from online
socialising
as it is
important
for our days, we could control this problem by helpful solutions.
Secheduling
one day of the week to
meet
relatives and our family in person, which will give them a sense of
responsipilites
to
keep
contact with the
people
we care about them. Doing meetings and special occasions in home inviting
people
also
consider as a solution.

Controling
the hours of the day in using internet and give them activity to go outside.
For example
, making activity with parents and other friends.

In conclusion
,
eventhough
we can not
persude
them to
socialise
in person we could
help
them to be more active individuals.

IELTS essay teenagers using phones for socializing

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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