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Some think that increasing of business and cultural contact is positive .other think that may lead to disappearance of nations identity discuss both view points and give your opinion

Some think that increasing of business and cultural contact is positive. other think that may lead to disappearance of nations identity discuss both view points and give your opinion pbLy3
recent days, it is thought that the plummeting business and cultural contact between nations is useful, while others believe that may contribute to canceled the importance of national identity. In this essay, it will be shed the light on both two sides and I will support my opinion. On one hand, some individuals view that the increasing demand for business enhance the crucial role of the communication between different cultures which is consider positive. The main reason for believing that the existence of business became related to expand the relationship between the nations by exchange the commercial contract. moreover people who are contract in different business enable to create positive contract in both sehpere of life. They could discover new cultures when they spend their time in business. Also the facilities of economic matters encourage communities to contact and exchange cultural concepts among society member. A good example here as it is obvious in the real life that Dubia city became the most city around the world which enable to unite different business members belong to a different area in all over the world. they could increase the demand of business as well as enhance the social culture among the community. On the other hand, some people see that they grow up of business may lead to many negative aspects like the disappearance of a nation's identity. the critical reason behind that is business requires individuals to contract with a certain system which may cancel the role of their identity. They may treat each other by utilizing specific language which may impact the people civilizations. Futhermore, people who are tend to have business may face some challenges requires them to leave their identity. for instance the appearance of technologies play an important role to focus on economic more than identity so, that the big business companies became concentrate on the business more than people adintity In my, opinion I advocate that people can be gain the balance according to the increasing of business must be contribute to grow people lifestyle and keep people identity in the same time, so the officials can keep on their dilutes concepts with their interest on economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
recent
days, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the plummeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and cultural contact between nations is useful, while others believe that may contribute
Did you mean "to cancel"?
to canceled
the importance of national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. In this essay, it will
be shed
the light on both two sides and I will support my opinion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals view that the increasing demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
enhance the crucial role of the communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures which is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. The main reason for believing that the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
became related to expand the relationship between the nations by exchange the commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
enable to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
in both
Possible spelling mistake found.
sehpere
of life. They could discover new cultures when they spend their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the facilities of economic matters encourage communities to contact and exchange cultural concepts among society member. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here as it is obvious in the real life that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dubia
city became the most city around the world which enable to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
members belong to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
area in all over the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
could increase the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as well
as enhance the social culture among the community.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they grow up of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects like the disappearance of a nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
critical reason behind
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
requires individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contract
with a certain system which may cancel the role of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
. They may treat each other by utilizing specific language which may impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
civilizations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges requires them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance the appearance of technologies play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to focus on economic more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
became concentrate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
adintity


In my, opinion I advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be gain the balance according to the increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "contributed"?
contribute
to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
identity
in the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the officials can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on their dilutes concepts with their interest on economy.
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IELTS essay Some think that increasing of business and cultural contact is positive. other think that may lead to disappearance of nations identity discuss both view points and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some think that increasing of business and cultural contact is positive .other think that may lead to disappearance of nations identity discuss both view points and give your opinion