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Teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to use mobile phones in school. Do you agree or disagree?

Teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to use mobile phones in school. 6NDgW
Using mobile phone should be prohibited for students in school. I completely agree that teachers should not allow their pupils to use mobile phone in school. There are several reasons why using mobile phone in school is detrimental for young learners. Firstly, it lessens their attentiveness to class lecture while they have phone with them. Because people have a massive attraction in electronic devices when they use it first and in a group such as with friends or teammates. As a consequence, they feel less attention in their study, and they feel passionate to use mobile phone with their friends instead of discussing about group works. Some of teenagers who are not so thirsty of online games become addicted to this and learn how to play these games through their friends while they are at school. Therefore, they don't complete their homework by the time and be stressed because of being addicted to online games. In other words, students will be sick physically and mentally if they pass their leisure with mobile phone and not to play sports like cricket, football and volleyball during school break. For example, nowadays it is commonly seen in our country that students are playing online games and using social medias in their tiffin period and they are being rude gradually with their parents. So, it is apparent that using mobile phone in school is harmful for youngers. If they had played games physically, they would not have behaved rudely with seniors. Finally, it is obvious that playing in fields, gossiping with friends etc are useful for physical and mental health for teenagers at school, where using phone at this time are destroying them in many ways. In conclusion, using phone at school has an extensive bad effects on pupils as they are losing concentration on study. So, it should not be allowed at school.
Using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
should
be prohibited
for students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that teachers should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their pupils to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in school.

There are several reasons why using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is detrimental for young learners.
Firstly
, it lessens their attentiveness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
lecture while they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a massive attraction in electronic devices when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
first
and in a group such as with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or teammates. As a consequence, they feel less attention in their study, and they feel passionate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
instead
of
Did you mean simply "discussing group"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about group
works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
thirsty of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
become addicted to this and learn how to play these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
while they are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Therefore
, they don't complete their homework by the time and be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being addicted
to online games.

In other words
, students will be sick
physically
and mentally if they pass their leisure with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and not to play sports like cricket, football and volleyball during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
break.
For example
, nowadays it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in our country that students are playing online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and using social medias in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiffin
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
period and
they are being rude
gradually
with their parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is apparent that using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is harmful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
. If they had played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
physically
, they would not have behaved
rudely
with seniors.
Finally
, it is obvious that playing in fields, gossiping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
etc are useful for physical and mental health for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, where using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at this time are destroying them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

In conclusion
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has an extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on pupils as they are losing concentration on study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to use mobile phones in school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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