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teenage and adulthood, which is happier

teenage and adulthood, which is happier x0w2y
It is often argued that teenage is the happiest stage, while others feel that despite having huge responsibilities of adulthood, people are happier. From my perspective, although each stage of life has its joys and sorrows, I believe teenage is the most beautiful time in life. To begin with, we all know that being an adult means you can get the freedom to do whatever you want. Adulthood also offers several positive and happy moments: when we get our first job, when we first pay for the trip with our parents with our hard-earned money, when we get married and have kids, . . . All are cherished moments that most adults fondly remember forever. Howsoever, never forget that “With freedom comes responsibility”. For the person who is unwilling to take responsibility for their life, including all their thinkings and decisions, growing up will be a frightening prospect. On the other hand, many people remember their young hood as the greatest period. Teenagers do not have complete freedom about their own decisions. But in return, in this epoch, overall parents have the responsibility for the economic support of their children, so teenagers do have not to be worried about money at all. But personally speaking, I do not think that adolescents are living the happiest moments just because of a lack of responsibilities. Instead, I think it is because society has always been lenient with them. Of course, that is not an excuse for them to freely violate discipline, but this will help them dare to try more, live more fully without being too cautious as adults. In conclusion, it is up to each individual to decide which period was the happiest in their life. I am of opinion, I choose the teenage. Even so, it could also be because I am having a coming of adult crisis. Maybe one day in the future, I will enjoy my adult life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that teenage is the happiest stage, while others feel that despite having huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
of adulthood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are happier. From my perspective, although each stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has its joys and sorrows, I believe teenage is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
time in life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we all know that being an adult means you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the freedom to do whatever you want. Adulthood
also
offers several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and happy moments: when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
our
first
job, when we
first
pay for the trip with our parents with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and have kids
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, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
All
are cherished
moments that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
fondly
remember forever. Howsoever, never forget that “With freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility”
. For the person who is unwilling to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, including all their
Possible spelling mistake found.
thinkings
and decisions, growing up will be a frightening prospect.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
remember their young hood as the greatest period.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
do not have complete freedom about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in return, in this epoch,
overall
parents have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for the economic support of their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do have not to
be worried
about money at all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
personally
speaking, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adolescents are living the happiest moments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
.
Instead
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
society has always been lenient with them.
Of course
,
that is
not an excuse for them to
freely
violate discipline,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them dare to try more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
fully
without being too cautious as adults.

In conclusion
, it is up to each individual to decide which period was the happiest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I am of opinion, I choose the teenage. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it could
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am having a coming of adult crisis. Maybe one day in the future, I will enjoy my adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay teenage and adulthood, which is happier

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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