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In many countries, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is it happening? Give the solution to this problem.

In many countries, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is it happening? Give the solution to this problem. 0Mbpn
It goes without saying that various city centres tend to get massive and become a populated area due to several reasons such as more job opportunities, educational reasons and better transportation. This problem can be eased in many ways such as the government subsidising the company to open in suburban areas or construct public transport that can easily access the major city. It is undeniable that living in the center of the city is more convenient because it has more services which are important for us, for example banking, internet services, and more. In addition, there are a lot of big companies located in this area that have high demand for the workers so people find it more convincing to live in this location. However, when people move into a major city that is a small area the city is overcrowded and poses many threats. In order to reduce the population in the main city the government might need to grant huge businesses to open in the surrounding area. This may attract people to change their accomodation and can lower the number of people in the city. Moreover, transportation should be created outside of the city so it is better for people who live in rural areas to travel around and to reach their workplace easier. In conclusion, in the major cities there are more convenient commodities so people want to live in those areas but it can become a problem. This conflict can be solved with the help of the government to encourage people to move out.
It goes without saying that various city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
massive and become a populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
due to several reasons such as more job opportunities, educational reasons and better transportation. This problem can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidising' is British English.
subsidising
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to open in suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
or construct public transport that can
easily
access the major city.

It is undeniable that living in the center of the city is more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more services which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us,
for example
banking, internet services, and more.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
located in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
that have high demand for the workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it more convincing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this location.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into a major city
that is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
the city
is overcrowded
and poses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
threats.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population in the main city the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might need to grant huge businesses to open in the surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. This may attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
and can lower the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the city.
Moreover
, transportation should
be created
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to travel around and to reach their workplace easier.

In conclusion
, in the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there are more convenient commodities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can become a problem. This conflict can
be solved
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out.
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IELTS essay In many countries, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is it happening? Give the solution to this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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