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Technology plays significant role in our life

Technology plays significant role in our life ElN8Q
The 21st of century is the age of technology. It is considered that technology is significant to human's development and brings several possibilities. However, technology has also caused diversity of negative effects, such as escalation of numbers of people who lead sedentary lifestyle and decrease rapidly of workforce in certain field. However, I completely agree that technology might be beneficial in various realms by making life much more eassier and adds to improvement of pupils academic skills, especially for language learners. First of all, technology is valuable invention in educational field especially for people who are learning foreign language. Utilizing technology makes studying language much more easier. Students can increase learning quality via using the internet or mobile devices. Mainly, the internet provides user with substantialinformation that can be necessary for them. As a result, learners might gain profound knowledge. In addition to that, technology has also made human beings' life easy especially in communication. People can communicate within seconds by using different gadgets, mobile and computer. People have have a great opportunity to contact with relatives, friends abroad. For example, according to the latest data, 80% of people are using Facebook to chat with the others. In spite of numerous benefits of technology there are harmful sides. One of them is sedentary lifestyle which cause them to be obese, heart disease and a variety of other physical health conditions. Consequently, the number of death among people has increased dramatically. Apart from this life of human beings becomes robotic. Technological advances have replaced people in the workplace and this may cause to reduce staff. For instance, according to the statistics, there has been increasing number of unemployment. In conclusion, despite the drawbacks of the modern devices, I strongly believe that technology might bring much more boons rather than negative ones.
The 21st of century is the age of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It
is considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is significant to human's development and brings several possibilities.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
caused diversity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, such as escalation of numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lead sedentary lifestyle and decrease
rapidly
of workforce in certain field.
However
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
might be beneficial in various realms by making life much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassier
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to improvement of pupils academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
especially
for language learners.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is valuable invention in educational field
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are learning foreign language. Utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
studying language much
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
. Students can increase learning quality via using the internet or mobile devices.
Mainly
, the internet provides user with
Possible spelling mistake found.
substantialinformation
that can be necessary for them.
As a result
, learners might gain profound knowledge.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
made human beings' life easy
especially
in communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can communicate within seconds by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gadgets, mobile and computer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Possible typo: you repeated a word
have have
a great opportunity to contact with relatives, friends abroad.
For example
, according to the latest data, 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using Facebook to chat with the others.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
numerous benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
there are harmful sides. One of them
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a sedentary" or "is an sedentary"
is sedentary
lifestyle which cause them to be obese, heart disease and a variety of other physical health conditions.
Consequently
, the number of death among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
increased
dramatically
. Apart from this life of human beings becomes robotic. Technological advances have replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the workplace and this may cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
staff.
For instance
, according to the statistics, there has been increasing number of unemployment.

In conclusion
, despite the drawbacks of the modern devices, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
might bring much more boons
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.
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IELTS essay Technology plays significant role in our life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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