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Technology is it good or bad

Technology is it good or bad VlQ3J
Today we are evolving in a technological advanced world, where everything is being done in the online space. I believe we should be exposed to technology however this should be do so responsibly. I will be presenting points on the good and bad of technology and my opinion on the matter. Technology has been to date one of the greatest evolution of all time. it is safe to say we are out of the dark ages thanks to technology and inventions such as the internet. This is less time consuming and more efficient, you can work from home without even leaving your home. Information is more readily available and more up to date via the internet. Technology makes it easier for us to communicate with friends and loved ones who are far away. We are also able to live vicariously through the internet as we can visit places without even leaving our homes. While technology has made a lot of things more accessible it also has a myriad of short comings such as causing addictions, cyber bullying, low self esteem especially where social media is concerned, causing persons to be introverts and anti social and increased screen time usage to name a few. We are now in an age where persons are not able to survive without their gadgets and internet access, some even value this more than human interaction. This has caused a decline in our social standard. Personally for me technology makes my life easier in a lot of ways such as doing my banking from home, submitting an essay electronically, shopping online. However i have not seen a lot of my loved ones because i prefer to interact online than in person, and even when I see them my eyes and attention is constantly on my devices. In more ways than one technology has caused me to become distant from those around me and removed the human interaction that we crave so much. Memories have been lost because of being too busy to look up and enjoy my surroundings. In conclusion technology has made our lives easier and will be around for many years to come. how we handle it in our day to day lives is up to us. Let us not miss out on whats in front of us because we are too busy with the online world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we are evolving in a technological advanced world, where everything is
being done
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
space. I believe we should
be exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
however
this should be
Consider using the past participle "done"?
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
responsibly
. I will be presenting points on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and my opinion on the matter.

Technology has been to date one of the greatest evolution of all time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is safe to say we are out of the dark ages thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and inventions such as the internet. This is less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and more efficient, you can work from home without even leaving your home. Information is more
readily
available and more up to date via the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for us to communicate with friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who are far away. We are
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
vicariously
through the internet as we can visit places without even leaving our homes.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things more accessible it
also
has a myriad of
Did you mean "shortcomings"?
short comings
such as causing addictions,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
, low
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
especially
where social media
is concerned
, causing persons to be introverts and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social
and increased screen time usage to name a few. We are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in an age where persons are not able to survive without their gadgets and internet access,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even value this more than human interaction. This has caused a decline in our social standard.

Personally
for me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
my life easier in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ways such as doing my banking from home, submitting an essay
electronically
, shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
prefer to interact
Use "onliner" to make a comparison with this adjective.
online
than in person, and even when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them my eyes and attention is
constantly
on my devices. In more ways than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused me to become distant from those around me and removed the human interaction that we crave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much. Memories have
been lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being too busy to look up and enjoy my surroundings.

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier and will be around for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
how
we handle it in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is up to us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us not miss out on
Possible spelling mistake found
whats
in front of us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are too busy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
world.
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He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Technology is it good or bad

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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