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government of family who should bear the old age people health care.

government of family who should bear the old age people health care. bbDWX
In the developing era, life style had been changed for past few decades. young generation and their parent are tied-up with their professional work. They are unable to look after their old parents. In the fact of that, elderly people choose to live at old-age home. Although the expenditure should be look after by both them, The Britain government has bearing it. according to me its responsibility of family as well as government. This situation has its own benefits and loses. to begin with, elderly people are more and more connected with family members. they can be taken care and stay their conveniently and comfortably as their emotions connected with fragrance of home. For instance, the childrens are all around their grandparents and people mostly feel protected and most relaxed at their own house. In spit of they does not feel any lonelyness and sickness, there can be face medical issues there. It can impact on person psychology and physical health. Moreover, government should pay their medical expenses with some health insurance policy alone with care taker provide services if required. for example, if any family is unable to bear high expenses of hospitals, government should help them out. secondly, old messes should stay at their home spent some time with their family and share the wonder expirences with them and encourage them toward the good side of life and teach them the right path towards t auspicious life. They can teach the youth about concept of love and strength of togetherness in goods and bad. in addition, old age person who are alone at home their risk of their security. such as if any criminal activity is occurs in community especial in old people home there is high risk to life or even money. to sum up, people who had reach to the golden age would had multiple mesmerizing experiences of of life. old age home gives them the same age group activity but not any emotional and economical stability. Thus, Family and government should work together economically.
In the developing era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for past few decades.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
generation and their parent
are tied
-up with their professional work. They are unable to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
parents. In the fact of that, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age home. Although the expenditure should be look after by both them, The Britain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has bearing it. according to me its responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This situation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and loses.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more and more connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
be taken
care and stay their
conveniently
and
comfortably
as their emotions connected with fragrance of home.
For instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
are all around their grandparents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
feel protected and most relaxed at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In spit of they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "do"
does
not feel any
Possible spelling mistake found.
lonelyness
and sickness, there can be face medical issues there. It can impact on person psychology and physical health.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay their medical expenses with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health insurance policy alone with care taker provide services if required.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is unable to bear high expenses of hospitals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them out.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
messes should stay at their home spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and share the wonder
Possible spelling mistake found.
expirences
with them and encourage them toward the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and teach them the right path towards t auspicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They can teach the youth about concept of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and strength of togetherness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
person who are alone at home their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of their security.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as if any criminal activity is occurs in community especial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
home there is high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or even money.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had reach to the golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
had
multiple mesmerizing experiences
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
home gives them the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not any emotional and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
stability.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should work together
economically
.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay government of family who should bear the old age people health care.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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