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In many countries fast food are cheaper and widely available .Do you think its disadavantages outerweigh the advantages ?

In many countries fast food are cheaper and widely available. Do you think its disadavantages outerweigh the advantages? 0np7q
In cutting-edge era, home-based food has been replaced by junk foods. It might be because of its lucarative prices and easy availability. According to my perspective, these type of meals have more demerits as compare to merits and I will shed light upon its deterimental effects on the well being of an individual in forthcoming passages. To commence with, there are several negative impacts on the welfare of a person because of factors mentioned in above notion. First of all, these kind of foods have high carbohydrates and unsaturated fats which ultimately cause several ailments such as Obesity, hypertension and other cardiovascular diseases. For example, people who lives in urban areas, they have plethora of proximities named as food hubs, restaurants and hotels. Also they used to order food immidiately via online food services like Zomato and swiggy who serves you food on your door step. Secondly, the price of some dishes are quite low and everybody can afford them. Not only it has negative effects on health but also these mouth-deliberately foods do not conatins any nutritional values. Apart from this, In modern era most of the parents have busy schedules specially when women are employed, so it is hard for them to maintain regualr food routine. In that case, their offsprings can easily order food from a food station. To an instance, If a mother is a doctor and sometimes because of an emergency case in the hospital, it could not be possible for her to reach home on time and she might be not able to cook food for their family. Therefore, if these food facilities will be there then it would be beneficial. To recapitulate, as I reiterate that though junk foods have low prices and easily available but its downsides cannot be ignored and they are outweighing than its pros.
In cutting-edge era, home-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
been replaced
by junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. It might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
lucarative
prices and easy availability. According to my perspective, these type of meals have more demerits as compare to merits and I will shed light upon its
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimental
effects on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of an individual in forthcoming passages.

To commence with, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the welfare of a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of factors mentioned in above notion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have high carbohydrates and unsaturated fats which
ultimately
cause several ailments such as Obesity, hypertension and other cardiovascular diseases.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
in urban areas, they have plethora of
Possible spelling mistake found.
proximities
named as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
hubs, restaurants and hotels.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Possible spelling mistake found.
immidiately
via online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
services like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zomato
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
swiggy
who serves you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on your door step.
Secondly
, the price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dishes are quite low and everybody can afford them. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
these mouth-
deliberately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
conatins
any nutritional values.

Apart from this, In modern era most of the parents have busy schedules
specially
when women
are employed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to maintain
Possible spelling mistake found.
regualr
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
routine.
In that case
, their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings can
easily
order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
station. To an instance, If a mother is a doctor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an emergency case in the hospital, it could not be possible for her to reach home on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
she might be not able to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their family.
Therefore
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
facilities will be there then it would be beneficial.

To recapitulate, as I reiterate that though junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have low prices and
easily
available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its downsides cannot be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ignored and
they are outweighing than its pros.
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IELTS essay In many countries fast food are cheaper and widely available. Do you think its disadavantages outerweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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