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Technology like online shopping platforms gives me better access to good quality products.

Technology like online shopping platforms gives me better access to good quality products. dkjm6
Firstly, modern technology is connecting people across the globe. For example, Internet, video calling applications, and social media. As a result, workers from different countries can cooperate to work on a project, and young people can discuss their ideas, participate in cultural exchange on a large scale. Furthermore, modern technology assists humans to deal with fatal diseases. In the past, the world suffered from serious losses from infectious diseases because vaccines took a long time to be developed. At present, however, there are many advanced medical equipment which help doctors and scientists create effective medications in a short time. Finally, modern technology has simplified our daily tasks, such as shopping. Technology like e-commerce platforms gives people better access to good quality products. In fact, during the lockdown, everyone is encouraged to shop online by using the “click and collect” option. This is because easy to pick the items and find the location nearby to pick up at a certain time.
Firstly
, modern
technology
is connecting
people
across the globe.
For example
, Internet, video calling applications, and social media.
As a result
, workers from
different
countries can cooperate to work on a project, and young
people
can discuss their
ideas
, participate in cultural exchange on a large scale.
Furthermore
, modern
technology
assists humans to deal with fatal diseases. In the past, the world suffered from serious losses from infectious diseases
because
vaccines took a long time to
be developed
. At present,
however
, there are
many
advanced medical equipment which
help
doctors and scientists create effective medications in a short time.
Finally
, modern
technology
has simplified our daily tasks, such as shopping.
Technology
like e-commerce platforms gives
people
better access to
good
quality products. In fact, during the lockdown, everyone
is encouraged
to shop online by using the “click and collect” option. This is
because
easy to pick the items and find the location nearby to pick up at a certain time.
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IELTS essay Technology like online shopping platforms gives me better access to good quality products.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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