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write down the benefits and drawbacks of hobbies

write down the benefits and drawbacks of hobbies o6lmg
Hobbies are play the vital role, in human being life. Though there could be merits and demerits of the hobbies. In my opinion we have to be clearer between good hobbies and Bad hobbies. Firstly, the good hobbies are benefited to succeed in everyone’s career. People can convert their interest in to opportunity. For instance, to have traveling obsession then he/she can be becoming a travel agent and start earning. In addition to this, they can continuously learn new thing and that would be an exposure in their regin. In fact, it helps to active in terms of Mentally, Emotionally and physically. Which ensure the journey towards vision and mission. However, there are ample drawbacks, Interest should have certain limits. Journey put home security in risk also it may take away from your family and friends. For example, while travel regularly, we out for a days or week and same we actually lay our home alone. Opportunistic criminals might notice that your home is vacant and target it. Additionally, you are disconnecting from your “Family and Friends” where it can be directly affected in relationship. In a nutshell, although there are certain disadvantages of hobbies but at the same time we can explore the new things, learn from different culture and various crowd.
Hobbies
are play the vital role, in human being life. Though there could be merits and demerits of the
hobbies
. In my opinion we
have to
be clearer between
good
hobbies
and
Bad
hobbies.

Firstly
, the
good
hobbies
are benefited
to succeed in everyone’s career.
People
can convert their interest in to opportunity.
For instance
, to have traveling obsession then he/she can be becoming a travel agent and
start
earning.
In addition
to this, they can
continuously
learn new thing and that would be an exposure in their
regin
. In fact, it
helps
to active in terms of Mentally,
Emotionally
and
physically
. Which ensure the journey towards vision and mission.

However
, there are ample drawbacks, Interest should have certain limits. Journey put home security in
risk
also
it may take away from your family and friends.
For example
, while travel
regularly
, we out for
a days
or week and same we actually lay our home alone. Opportunistic criminals might notice that your home is vacant and target it.
Additionally
, you are disconnecting from your “Family and Friends” where it can be
directly
affected
in relationship.

In a nutshell, although there are certain disadvantages of
hobbies
but
at the same time we can explore the new things, learn from
different
culture and various crowd.
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IELTS essay write down the benefits and drawbacks of hobbies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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