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Many individuals nowadays prefer to work for themselves rather than being employed in an organisation. The main reason behind this preference is the freedom which people get by working independently.

Many individuals nowadays prefer to work for themselves rather than being employed in an organisation. The main reason behind this preference is the freedom which people get by working independently. eKlnB
In recent years, the large number of people tend to decide to have their own business instead of working as employees in organizations. The main reasons are the stress and pressure from the workplace, including difficult commutes. Although there are many beneficial aspects of working independently, there are a lot of drawbacks. The reason and negative effects will be discussed in this essay. The reason why many workers are interested in being self-employed is because working at a company has high competition, and they are pressured by their boss. Moreover, it make people have a stress and lead to have a mental health and physical health such as depression, anxiety, , office syndrome. Secondly, the salary depends on the employee's qualifications and position. Some individuals do not adequate for their life; for instance the fundamental course, tax, and others. Besides, some workers are not convenient for commuting because the location of their workplaces is far from their dwellings, and some companies do not have public transportation. On the other hand, There are a bunch of cons of being self-employed. Firstly, it will have various effects on work organizations because of the shortage of laborers, and many companies have to close down. Therefore, it can bring about financial domestic problems. Furthermore, having their own business has a lot of issues because people have many expenditures to invest in their affairs and it has a high risk if they do not have enough skills and knowledge to manage their business. And last but not least, It is undeniable that connection is very significant in our society. It is difficult to make individuals have success in their own work without having connections and credits, so self-employed people are not reliable compared with work organizations. To sum up, having your own business can eradicate the pressure and stress from the leaders, and it has more freedom. Nevertheless, freelancers have a high risk because individuals have to be good at controlling their budget and work. Significantly, people have to have connections and credits as well.
In recent years, the large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to decide to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
instead
of working as employees in organizations. The main reasons are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure from the workplace, including difficult commutes. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial aspects of working
independently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
drawbacks. The reason and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects will
be discussed
in this essay.

The reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers
are interested
in being self-employed is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has high competition, and they
are pressured
by their boss.
Moreover
, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and lead to have a mental health and physical health such as depression, anxiety,
Two consecutive commas
,
office syndrome.
Secondly
, the salary depends on the employee's qualifications and position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals do not adequate for their life;
for instance
the fundamental course, tax,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers are not convenient for commuting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the location of their workplaces is far from their dwellings, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not have public transportation.

On the other hand
, There are a bunch of cons of being self-employed.
Firstly
, it will have various effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage of laborers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close down.
Therefore
, it can bring about financial domestic problems.
Furthermore
, having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
expenditures to invest in their affairs and it has a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, It is undeniable that connection is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant in our society.

It is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals have success in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without having connections and credits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not reliable compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
organizations.

To sum up, having your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can eradicate the pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the leaders, and it has more freedom.
Nevertheless
, freelancers have a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at controlling their budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Significantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have connections and credits
as well
.
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IELTS essay Many individuals nowadays prefer to work for themselves rather than being employed in an organisation. The main reason behind this preference is the freedom which people get by working independently.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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