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Technology is making young people stupid. Discuss both sides then in the conclusion give your real opinion.

Technology is making young people stupid. BJ70a
It is often argued that technological devices are harmful to the young generation's development in a long-term perspective. While some people contend that advantages of technology are undoubtfully beneficial for youngster's future. I will give my opinion as below. It is an indisputable fact that technological achievement is distracting young people from paying adequate attention to academic study. Appealing online games and fascinated functions are extremely time-consuming, therefore, leading to laziness and loss of motivation for learning in school. Moreover, most of the cutting-edge devices nowadays can easily access the Internet which is a potential threat to young people's minds. Ranging from pornography to various ways to make a bomb, Internet use should be put into careful consideration. On the other hand, technology contains uncountable benefits in our modern society. Firstly, it facilitates the way human beings communicating with others. For instance, technological breakthroughs allow us to send emails to our loved ones who live on another side of the earth for a moment. Another advantage of technology is the tremendous flow of information we can receive, it put the entire world at our fingertips. Therefore, technology gives the young community an enormous opportunity to explore and widen the horizon of knowledge. In conclusion, i affirm my position that the advantages of the state of the art success far outweigh its drawbacks. Technology is vital for the young generation's career in the foreseeable future.
It is
often
argued that technological devices are harmful to the
young
generation's development
in a long-term perspective
. While
some
people
contend that advantages of
technology
are
undoubtfully
beneficial for youngster's future. I will give my opinion as below.

It is an indisputable fact that technological achievement is distracting
young
people
from paying adequate attention to academic study. Appealing online games and fascinated functions are
extremely
time-consuming,
therefore
, leading to laziness and loss of motivation for learning in school.
Moreover
, most of the cutting-edge devices nowadays can
easily
access the Internet which is a potential threat to
young
people
's minds. Ranging from pornography to various ways to
make
a bomb, Internet
use
should
be put
into careful consideration.

On the other hand
,
technology
contains uncountable benefits in our modern society.
Firstly
, it facilitates the way human beings communicating with others.
For instance
, technological breakthroughs
allow
us to
send
emails to our
loved
ones who
live
on another side of the earth for a moment. Another advantage of
technology
is the tremendous flow of information we can receive, it put the entire world at our fingertips.
Therefore
,
technology
gives the
young
community an enormous opportunity to explore and widen the horizon of knowledge.

In conclusion
,
i
affirm my position that the advantages of the
state of the art
success far outweigh its drawbacks.
Technology
is vital for the
young
generation's career in the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay Technology is making young people stupid.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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