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Technology is important to have a good life. More and more children choose to spend time in their free time. Advantage outweigh disadvantage

Technology is important to have a good life. More and more children choose to spend time in their free time. Advantage outweigh disadvantage o5bM3
In this changing scenario, technology has become a necessity to lead a good life. Therefore, most of the youngsters are preferring to spend their leisure time on the internet. In my opinion, it has more demerits because it leads to isolation and are putting bad effect on their health. It cannot be denied that advancement of technology have changed the way of spending free time among the young ones. To explicate, nowadays more and more children are doing on screen activities such as playing video games, watching television and using social media to pass their time which is also worthwhile to explore their new skills and abilities. For instance, it was noticed that during the time period of lockdown due to corona pandemic, almost 89% young people used the internet to spend their free time. Moving to its darker aspects, there are some disadvantages can be accounted in which primary worth mentioning is that by utilizing more time on technology, the most of the youngsters are becoming isolated in their homes, owing to this they do not like to meet with other people which host to the mood swings among them. What is more, the excess use of the internet also put negative impact on their health. To elaborate, in today's world most of the little ones are indulging screen activities continuously which may affects on their eyesight. Not only this, many children also faces multifarious diseases such as obesity, depression etcetera. To elucidate, a survey was conducted by the Health Department of Oxford University in 2019 showed that near about more than 59% young ones had weak eyesight due to the use of technology out of limit. Conclusively, although new technologies change the lifestyle of children and made it more convenient, by using this out of limit most of the youngsters are becoming isolated and have troubles regarding their healthy life.
In this changing scenario,
technology
has become a necessity to lead a
good
life.
Therefore
, most of the youngsters
are preferring
to spend their leisure
time
on the internet. In my opinion, it has more demerits
because
it leads to isolation and are putting
bad
effect on their health.

It cannot
be denied
that advancement of
technology
have
changed
the way of spending free
time
among the young
ones
. To explicate, nowadays more and more children are doing on screen activities such as playing video games, watching television and using social media to pass their
time
which is
also
worthwhile to explore their new
skills
and abilities.
For instance
, it
was noticed
that during the
time
period of lockdown due to corona pandemic, almost 89% young
people
used
the internet to spend their free time.

Moving to its darker aspects, there are
some
disadvantages can
be accounted
in which primary worth mentioning is that by utilizing more
time
on
technology
, the most of the youngsters are becoming isolated in their homes, owing to this they do not like to
meet
with other
people
which host to the mood swings among them.
What is more
, the excess
use
of the internet
also
put
negative
impact on their health. To elaborate, in
today
's world most of the
little
ones
are indulging screen activities
continuously
which may affects on their eyesight. Not
only
this,
many
children
also
faces multifarious diseases such as obesity, depression etcetera. To elucidate, a survey
was conducted
by the Health Department of Oxford University in 2019
showed
that near about more than 59% young
ones
had weak eyesight due to the
use
of
technology
out of limit.

Conclusively
, although new
technologies
change
the lifestyle of children and made it more convenient, by using this out of limit most of the youngsters are becoming isolated and have troubles regarding their healthy life.
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IELTS essay Technology is important to have a good life. More and more children choose to spend time in their free time. Advantage outweigh disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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