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Technology is breeding laziness

Technology is breeding laziness MBRxa
Technology is regarded as the way that turns people in to handle things easily especially for students who are attending university. Nevertheless, there has been a debate over technology makes humans lazier. Despite some objections about its consequence, using technology has demonstrated good points for developing human life. Using technology as a way that turns life easier makes people come to be sluggish because humans do not require to do insignificant things such as doing household chores, using cell phones especially in social media. Nonetheless, using technology as a method could create a great deal of advantages for the improvement of human life. For example, according to Brain-spire newspaper, in some manufacturing businesses, employers using robots to handle things that humans cannot achieve, doing dangerous tasks, furthermore they could boost the speed of the process to manufacture. Therefore, technology is a way to improve people’s life. Furthermore, using technology that supports a lot of humans’ life in decades. In other words, people nowadays many technologies as stuff that is crucial in daily life. For example, people from younger to adults using cell phones to contact their family and their friends. Furthermore, disabled people could use some of the technology to improve their lives such as they could travel around by using a wheelchair, which is a safe way for those who could not do it by themselves. To conclude, although technology bring humans laziness, we could not ignore that it has been the thing that makes people improve every day in daily life and work as well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is regarded
as the way that turns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in to handle things
easily
especially
for students who are attending university.
Nevertheless
, there has been a debate over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
lazier. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
objections about its consequence, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has demonstrated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.

Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as a way that turns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to be sluggish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do not require
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
insignificant things such as doing household chores, using cell phones
especially
in social media. Nonetheless, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as a method could create a great deal of advantages for the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, according to Brain-spire newspaper, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manufacturing businesses, employers using robots to handle things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot achieve, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
tasks,
furthermore
they could boost the speed of the process to manufacture.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

Furthermore
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that supports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in decades.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
as stuff
that is
crucial in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from younger to adults using cell phones to contact their family and their friends.
Furthermore
, disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
such as they could travel around by using a wheelchair, which is a safe way for those who could not do it by themselves.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
laziness, we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that it has been the thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
every day in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and work
as well
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IELTS essay Technology is breeding laziness

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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