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Nowadays, most of the big cities always appear many manual workers from rural areas. In your opinion, is this good or bad for the living conditions of the city?

Nowadays, most of the big cities always appear many manual workers from rural areas. In your opinion, is this good or bad for the living conditions of the city? APRyw
Nowadays, most of the big cities always appear many manual workers from rural areas. Every year the number of manual workers from rural areas moved to big cities were being increase more and more. First the workers in the countryside wanted to have a better life, a higher salary although they have work far from their home. Labor recruitment needs of the big city, especially companies, factories are very large, workers without a degree are still hired into manual works, with salary suitable for them by the factories. Second, they want to change their life, they do not want to live in coutryside, they wish they were living in big cities where there is a modern life, with the grow of technology for their family learing and development. In my opion, this is good for the economic but bad for the living conditions in the city because not all of the people in countryside can get the good job or place to live, there are some jobs may not suitable for them or they didn't receive a salary from their boss, they will not have income to live. It might be the main clause of low quality life and Social evils are increasing.
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
always appear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
from rural areas. Every year the number of manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
from rural areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
were being increase more and more.
First
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
in the countryside wanted to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, a higher salary although they have work far from their home. Labor recruitment needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, factories are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
without a degree are
still
hired into manual works, with salary suitable for them by the factories. Second, they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
, they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
coutryside
, they wish they were living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where there is a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, with the
The word 'grow' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "growth"?
grow
of technology for their family
Possible spelling mistake found.
learing
and development. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opion
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the economic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the living conditions in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in countryside can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job or place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs may not suitable for
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them or
they didn't receive a salary from their boss, they will not have income to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. It might be the main clause of low quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and Social evils are increasing.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, most of the big cities always appear many manual workers from rural areas. In your opinion, is this good or bad for the living conditions of the city?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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