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Technology has made the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Give reasons and include relevant examples to support your argument.

Technology has made the world a better place to live in. with this statement? Give reasons and include relevant examples to support your argument. Ewj9Q
Employers and customers plays vital role in the growth of a company. People claim that workers are playing a crucial role in a business whereas others say that end customers are important. Enterprises are running successfully because of the support from all the parties involved in the business chain. On one hand, Employees are having inevitable role in their organisation from the initial stage of it's growth. In addition, they provide necessary inputs to the management regarding the current scenario of a company with the help of past records that will be a key for the further managerial decisions. For instance, all the multinational companies provide perks to their fellow workers for employee retention. ce On other hand, customers of an the customersorganisation has to be considered as the king of the business where they are prossessing the purchasing power also demands depends upon their purchase. Moreover, the feedback of customers helps the business to improve the quality of product or service they are catering. For instance, if the customer is satisfied with the quality of the product. There are high chances for a positive word of mouth marketing. Whereas if they are not prioritized, business may gets shut down as they may not be able to generate profits. In my perspective, customers have to prioritized for the betterment of an organization considering the longterm vision of a company along with increasing the market share for the success. To conclude, every parties involved in the business circle has their own importance. Employees help the sustainability of a company whereas customers are significantly making the organization to obtain it's success. Thus, customers are having importance to play in the competitive world.
Employers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
plays vital role in the growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
claim that workers are playing a crucial role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
whereas others say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Enterprises are running
successfully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the support from all the parties involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
chain.

On one hand, Employees are having inevitable role in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
from the initial stage
Did you mean "of its growth"?
of it's growth
.
In addition
, they provide necessary inputs to the management regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of past records that will be a key for the
further
managerial decisions.
For instance
, all the multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide perks to their fellow workers for employee retention.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ce
On other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
of
Did you mean "and" or "any"?
an
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
customersorganisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be considered
as the king of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
where they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
prossessing
the purchasing power
also
demands depends upon their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Moreover
, the feedback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of product or service they are catering.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
is satisfied
with the quality of the product. There are high chances for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
word of mouth marketing. Whereas if they are not prioritized,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
shut down as they may not be able to generate profits.

In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prioritized for the betterment of an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
considering the
Possible spelling mistake found.
longterm
vision of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
along with increasing the market share for the success.

To conclude
, every parties involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
circle has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance. Employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the sustainability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
significantly
making the
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
Did you mean "to obtain its success"?
to obtain it's success
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are having importance to play in the competitive world.
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IELTS essay Technology has made the world a better place to live in. with this statement? Give reasons and include relevant examples to support your argument.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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