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Companies should provide recreation facilities for local citizens. To what extent do you agree?

Companies should provide recreation facilities for local citizens. Nl7nm
It is an controvertible fact that recreational activities enrich our lives in so many ways, such as, it helps in socializing with peers, gives an perspective to learn something new, gives a sense of well-being and to maintain physical as well as mental health. Several people suggest that companies should come up with recreation facilities for local communities. I strongly disagree with the statement because I believe that in a market economy, social amenities should be organized by the government rather than firms. The following sections will highlight my opinions along with relevant example. To commence with, every individual needs a recreation facilities to enhance their quality of life. Various parks along with the sports grounds offers the public to access safe, affordable and healthy ways to experience plus appreciate nature. If these services are provided by the corporation, then they will take it as an opportunity to promote their business. Consequently, the main purpose of parks will be an advertisement of goods and service rather than leisure. For e. g. Karnataka's industries department such as Mahindra Life spaces, ERS, DP World, Indo Space and the Embassy Group to build large industrial park. Furthermore, some firms will not be able to bear the expenses in order to match the competition level with the rest. It means the stronger agencies will be in advantage to get more customer's attention, thereby posing a threat to the small enterprises. On that account, I would reiterate that the local authorities should take the in charge to provide recreation facilities for the community rather than any organizations. These amenities can be funded by the taxpayer's money. For instance, the Turkish government provides sports facilities in every park, thereby promoting a healthy lifestyle.
It is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
controvertible fact that recreational activities enrich our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, such as, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in socializing with peers, gives
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
perspective to learn something new, gives a sense of well-being and to maintain physical
as well
as mental health. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with recreation facilities for local communities. I
strongly
disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that in a market economy, social amenities should
be organized
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
rather
than firms. The following sections will highlight my opinions along with relevant example.

To commence with, every individual needs a recreation facilities to enhance their quality of life. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
along with the sports grounds offers the public to access safe, affordable and healthy ways to experience plus appreciate nature. If these services
are provided
by the corporation, then they will take it as an opportunity to promote their business.
Consequently
, the main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
will be an
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and service
rather
than leisure. For
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Karnataka's industries department such as Mahindra Life spaces, ERS, DP World,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Indo
Space and the Embassy Group to build large industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
firms will not be able to bear the expenses in order to match the competition level with the rest. It means the stronger agencies will be in advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "customers"?
customer's
attention, thereby posing a threat to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
enterprises.

On that account, I would reiterate that the local authorities should take the in charge to provide recreation facilities for the community
rather
than any organizations. These amenities can
be funded
by the taxpayer's money.
For instance
, the Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides sports facilities in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, thereby promoting a healthy lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Companies should provide recreation facilities for local citizens.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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