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fhgf fhgf gfhgd uih gfgsj ghjf ùy

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In today's society, people usually are interested in famous international celebrities especially those who have outstanding athletic abilities. People admire their wealth with the multi-million-dollar paycheck they earn on an annual basis. However, some argue that elite sportsmen do not deserve such a massive salary. I completely disagree with this idea and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples. To begin with, sport is considered a very dangerous job. Any athlete taking part in practice or competition may face several challenges or obstacles, which are the major causes of physical pains. Although sportswear or protective clothing are widely used in many sports, dangers and injuries are unavoidable. Hence, there is no doubt that a lucrative income to compensate for such massive efforts is purely worth it with high-profile players. Another common belief about the issue is that athletes' sports career spans are shorter than in other professions. As they start their career in the physical environment, sports celebrities will have to come to an end with their job before they intensively become senile. If sports stars have the tendency to acquire private assets in their adulthood, it may be turning handsome savings after retiring. For example, David Beckham, an English former professional footballer, was announced that his estate after retirement covers the rest of his life. By contrast, many people hold the view that other occupations such as IT, doctor are much more optimal to be paid higher than sports stars. The compelling reason is that IT engineers contribute significantly to the sustainable development of technology, or doctors spend most of their life to save humanity from death or illness while sports celebrities just play in some hours then receive a ton of money. To sum up, I believe the sacrifice of sports stars for entertainment, and media should not be underestimated and their payment is optimal for what they deserve.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
are interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
international celebrities
especially
those who have outstanding athletic abilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
admire their wealth with the multi-million-dollar paycheck they earn on an annual basis.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that elite sportsmen do not deserve such a massive salary. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
job. Any athlete taking part in practice or competition may face several challenges or obstacles, which are the major causes of physical pains. Although sportswear or protective clothing are
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
and injuries are unavoidable.
Hence
, there is no doubt that a lucrative income to compensate for such massive efforts is
purely
worth it with high-profile players.

Another common belief about the issue is that athletes'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
career spans are shorter than in other professions. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career in the physical environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
celebrities will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
intensively
become senile. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars have the tendency to acquire private assets in their adulthood, it may be turning handsome savings after retiring.
For example
, David Beckham, an English former professional footballer,
was announced
that his estate after retirement covers the rest of his life.

By contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that other occupations such as IT, doctor are much more optimal to
be paid
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars. The compelling reason is that IT engineers contribute
significantly
to the sustainable development of technology, or doctors spend most of their life to save humanity from death or illness while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
play in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours then receive a ton of money.

To sum up, I believe the sacrifice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars for entertainment, and media should not
be underestimated
and their payment is optimal for what they deserve.
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IELTS essay fhgf fhgf gfhgd uih gfgsj ghjf ùy

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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