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Discuss both view is technology going to kill the world or develop it

Discuss both view is technology going to kill the world or develop it Ewj6Q
In this modern era, Technology is advancing day by day. Modern science will have been more benefits. On the other hand, technology will have been destroying the World by affecting nature, jobs, health and economies. I partially agree with technology will have been killing the world as it will have been crucial in daily life. This eassy will discuss why I partially agree with technology is vital for World and it will have been end the earth in further paragraph. First and foremost, applied science will have been developing time to time. It will have paramount for individuals to relaxed in daily activities. It will have save time to complete any task related to our job. Further more, with the help of technology any difficult surgery will have performed easily. Folks will be communicating quickly in all around the world with the help of mobile phone. Peers will be travelling easily and reach any places on time. Moreover, employees have been attending meetings on zoom application. Students have been studying from home. They have not needed to going school. Probing ahead, all information have been available on internet so as it people have easily search on google and take details. On the other hand, technology will have been destroying the World. Artificial intelligence will have been replacing job from human. More industries will have been establishing for technological advancement. Moreover, it will be releasing harmful gas and chemicals. They will be destroying ozone layer and put poison in the Rivers. Technology will have been cause of deforestation. Probing ahead, robots will have been controlling human minds. For example, all car manufactured companies have been using robotic machines to develop cars. Further more, all tech giant companies have been base on artificial intelligence. To recapitulate, technology will have been destroying the World but it will have crucial for humans. Therefore, I have been partially agreed with modern science is vital but it has been destroying the World.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is advancing day by day. Modern science will have been more benefits.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will have been destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
by affecting nature, jobs, health and economies. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will have been killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as it will have been crucial in daily life. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
will discuss why I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
and it will have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the earth in
further
paragraph.

First
and foremost, applied science will have been developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It will have paramount for individuals to relaxed in daily activities. It will have save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to complete any task related to our job.
Further
more, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
any difficult surgery will have performed
easily
. Folks will be communicating
quickly
in all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobile phone. Peers will be travelling
easily
and reach any places on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Moreover
, employees have been attending meetings on zoom application. Students have been studying from home. They have not needed to going school. Probing ahead, all information have been available on internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
easily
search on google and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will have been destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
. Artificial intelligence will have been replacing job from human. More industries will have been establishing for technological advancement.
Moreover
, it will be releasing harmful gas and chemicals. They will be destroying ozone layer and put poison in the Rivers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
will have been cause of deforestation. Probing ahead, robots will have been controlling human minds.
For example
, all car manufactured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have been using robotic machines to develop cars.
Further
more, all tech giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have been base on artificial intelligence.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will have been destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will have crucial for humans.
Therefore
, I have been
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with modern science is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has been destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
.
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IELTS essay Discuss both view is technology going to kill the world or develop it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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