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Technology has changed the way people communicatr today. Some people belive this is making our relationship stronger while others believe it is harming them. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Technology has changed the way people communicatr today. Some people belive this is making our relationship stronger while others believe it is harming them. OgBR3
The current technological advancements have altered the process of sharing information among the crowd. In this context, a few individuals believe that these are helpful for companionships, whereas, others opine that they are giving a negative impact on the community. I am inclined towards the former view. The aim of the essay is to review both the standpoints and elaborate on my opinion. To begin with, I support the prospect that modern scientific inventions are helping to strengthen our relationships due to the following reasons. Firstly, it is because of the modern science outputs that we are now able to maintain a smooth companionship with our distant relations. Thus we are able to be in touch with me through these electronic devices. For instance, mobile has decreased the distance and improved the communication mechanisms with our far relatives. As a result of this, we can now call anyone in the world anytime. Secondly, Internet has become a platform to message our childhood friends. In other words, without this technological enhancement, it would have been impossible to get in touch with the public who are almost vanished from our lives. Therefore I am in support of this view. On the other hand, some opine that current updates in science are outsourcing many threats to public relations. This is because many of the public are being trapped in false friendships on social media and making their life hell. For example, the internet is a global media and anyone can easily contact the other and start a companionship. As a consequence, the population is sometimes getting dragged into narrow-minded and dishonest relationships. Hence, some individuals feel that technology is harming the population. To conclude, the essay has discussed both viewpoints and the people's objectives behind those statements. However, I feel that technology is helping us to strengthen our relations. Overall, I am more inclined towards the people holding the former view.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technological advancements have altered the process of sharing information among the crowd. In this context, a few individuals believe that these are helpful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
companionships
, whereas, others opine that they are giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the community. I
am inclined
towards the former view. The aim of the essay is to review both the standpoints and elaborate on my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I support the prospect that modern scientific inventions are helping to strengthen our relationships due to the following reasons.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the modern science outputs that we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to maintain a smooth companionship with our distant relations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we are able to be in touch with me through these electronic devices.
For instance
, mobile has decreased the distance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the communication mechanisms with our far relatives.
As a result
of this, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
call anyone in the world anytime.
Secondly
, Internet has become a platform to message our childhood friends. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, without this technological enhancement, it would have been impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with the public who are almost vanished from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I am in support of this view.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
updates in science are outsourcing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
threats to public relations. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the public are
being trapped
in false friendships on social media and making their life hell.
For example
, the internet is a global media and anyone can
easily
contact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a companionship. As a consequence, the population is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
getting dragged into narrow-minded and dishonest relationships.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals feel that technology is harming the population.

To conclude
, the essay has discussed both viewpoints and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's objectives behind those statements.
However
, I feel that technology is helping us to strengthen our relations.
Overall
, I am more inclined towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
holding the former view.
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IELTS essay Technology has changed the way people communicatr today. Some people belive this is making our relationship stronger while others believe it is harming them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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