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In today’s modernizing era where rights of genders are going to be made equally, each person is demanding their laws.

In today’s modernizing era where rights of genders are going to be made equally, each person is demanding their laws. pLked
In today’s modernizing era where rights of genders are going to be made equally, each person is demanding their laws. A number of lives trust that females and males are equal, moreover, women need to be allowed to work in any job as they wish, although, others confide that they can’t earn same faculties, consequently, there are clear professions that are incompatible for females. I believe that it is not easy to find available work for ladies, thus, they cannot be identical with masculine. In the forthcoming paragraphs, causes of limited rights of women are going to be indicated. First, women cannot do similar works as men, hence, they are weak to work identically. There are a plethora of jobs, however, they are not suitable for ladies. For example, working as master is not for dames. In a result, women are going to have to stay at home only. Second, if wives are subordinate for their husband, family’s condition will never be evil. In a light of the fact that, this is actually similar to our past traditions. For instance, obedient are the best gifts for their husband. As a consequence, the rate of kind will increase. It must impact on bringing children up, too. On the other hand, if female’s rights are not equal with men, their passion decreases. Due to the fact that, passion of women is greater than men. In particular, attention of them is more powerful, coz, they are curious. To sum up, any member of gender wants to own similar things. Though, the rights of women are not evenly because of workplaces. In my view, any woman must be subordinate in spite of decreased level of their passionate.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modernizing era where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of genders are going to
be made
equally
, each person is demanding their laws. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
trust that females and males are equal,
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any job as they wish, although, others confide that they can’t earn same faculties,
consequently
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
professions that are incompatible for females. I believe that it is not easy to find available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for ladies,
thus
, they cannot be identical with masculine. In the forthcoming paragraphs, causes of limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are going to
be indicated
.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot do similar works as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
hence
, they are weak to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
identically
. There are a plethora of jobs,
however
, they are not suitable for ladies.
For example
, working as master is not for dames. In a result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are going to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

Second, if wives are subordinate for their husband, family’s condition will never be evil. In a light of the fact that, this is actually similar to our past traditions.
For instance
, obedient are the best gifts for their husband. As a consequence, the rate of kind will increase. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impact on bringing children up, too.

On the other hand
, if female’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are not equal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, their passion decreases. Due to the fact that, passion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is greater than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
In particular
, attention of them is more powerful,
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
, they are curious.

To sum up, any member of gender wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
similar things.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
evenly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of workplaces. In my view, any woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be subordinate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
decreased level of their passionate.
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IELTS essay In today’s modernizing era where rights of genders are going to be made equally, each person is demanding their laws.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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