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Write a composition about the following topic (about 300 words): Game online is one of problems worrying our parents these days.

Write a composition about the following topic (about 300 words): Game online is one of problems worrying our parents these days. JLA56
Nowadays, many children spend a considerable amount of their time playing computer games, which is one of the problems worrying parents. While most people think that this is a waste of valuable time and very few think playing computer games is helpful, I firmly believe that children should play computer games particularly brain games and strategy games but a balance should be maintained so that it does not become an addiction. On the one hand, video games can be both entertaining and educational. From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking, cognitive abilities, and problem-solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context. Those who play memory games, for example, have to recall locations, events, or names to move to the next levels. This is beneficial for brain function and memory. Furthermore, it has been shown that computer simulation games can improve users’ motor skills and help to prepare them for real-world tasks, such as flying a plane. However, gaming can be highly addictive. Many people spend a huge amount of time, sitting in front of their computer screen and playing video games. This leaves them little time for other activities such as study or work, which negatively affects their productivity. Some people think that video games are designed for entertainment purposes instead of educational values. Therefore, people who engage in video gaming are wasting their precious time on activities that bring no useful purpose for their future lives. Spending too much time can be detrimental to the children’s health, especially for their eyes. To sum up, there are benefits of computer games, but there are disadvantages too. However, if parents take adequate precautions and the children themselves can keep the balance, the severity of these negative impacts can be avoided.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a considerable amount of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which is one of the problems worrying parents. While most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a waste of valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is helpful, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
particularly
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and strategy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a balance should
be maintained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it does not become an addiction.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be both entertaining and educational. From an educational perspective, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourage imagination and creativity,
as well
as concentration, logical thinking, cognitive abilities, and problem-solving, all of which are useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
outside the gaming context. Those who play memory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
recall locations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, or names to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
next
levels. This is beneficial for brain function and memory.
Furthermore
, it has
been shown
that computer simulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
users’ motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to prepare them for real-world tasks, such as flying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
.

However
, gaming can be
highly
addictive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, sitting in front of their computer screen and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other activities such as study or work, which
negatively
affects their productivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are designed
for entertainment purposes
instead
of educational values.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
gaming are wasting their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on activities that bring no useful purpose for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health,
especially
for their eyes.

To sum up, there are benefits of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are disadvantages too.
However
, if parents take adequate precautions and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
themselves can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the balance, the severity of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts can
be avoided
.
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IELTS essay Write a composition about the following topic (about 300 words): Game online is one of problems worrying our parents these days.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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