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Technology has been updating over time. In 1888 the first car in England,

Technology has been updating over time. In 1888 the first car in England, 8akwB
Technology has been updating over time. In 1888 the first car in England, at the beginning the first car was a big achievement for people but by the year 2000 there were already 29 million vehicles in daily use which can bring us many consequences that is why we should do something to prevent pollution and other consequences. The environment will be more healthy if we begin to use vehicles more natural like bicycles or taking the bus. Also the government is making laws to protect the nature of the cars that are not in a state of circulation and the only thing they happen is to pollute the world and our nature, this is a great initiative by the government because in one way or another they make us citizens aware of the pollution that a car can cause. Education is another factor that humans need if we want to take care of nature, and is not something that only one person can do, it is something that needs the help of all the people because our world is our home. I agree with all these alternatives because if we continue acting normal we are going to pay the consequences and it is going to be a real disaster. There are a lot of options but it is all about initiative, if you think you are so young you can go with your friends in a single car and thus save gasoline consumption or pollution. I think this is a very delicate topic because not all people give the importance that it needs, we have to start the change in our society and every action to help this movement, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I agree and we should share with our family and friends.
Technology has been updating over time. In 1888 the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in England, at the beginning the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
achievement for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by the year 2000 there were already 29 million vehicles in daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which can bring us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences
that is
why we should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
pollution and other consequences. The environment will be more healthy if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vehicles more natural like bicycles or taking the bus.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is making laws to protect the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that are not in a state of circulation and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing they happen is to pollute the world and our nature, this is a great initiative by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in one way or another they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us citizens aware of the pollution that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can cause. Education is another factor that humans need if we want to take care of nature, and is not something that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person can do, it is something that needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our world is our home.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with all these alternatives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if we continue acting normal we are going to pay the consequences and it is going to be a real disaster. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is all about initiative, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
your friends in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
thus
save gasoline consumption or pollution. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delicate topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give the importance that it needs, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in our society and every action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this movement, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
agree and
we should share with our family and friends.
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IELTS essay Technology has been updating over time. In 1888 the first car in England,

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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