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Technology becoming more common

Technology becoming more common pBm3
In today’s word, the use of technology is ever increasing. Even in classrooms, technology can be commonly seen. It is disagreed that technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Analysing both the inability of a technology-driven teacher to discipline students in a classroom as well as this robotic teachers hindrance to a student’s learning process will show this. Firstly, (cohesion word) a teacher powered by artificial intelligence would have difficulty interpreting the educational needs of a classroom of students. For example, Honda Asimov, one of the world’s most advanced robots has trouble distinguishing simple human emotions. In today’s most advanced artificial intelligence cannot categorise these basic physical cues(action or event is a signal to do something), it is difficult to believe that a robot could be capable of altering study plans and teaching styles in a dynamic classroom setting. Thus, this makes it clear that a technology driven-teacher is not going to be operational anytime in the near future. Secondly, a robotic teacher would not be able to establish the emotional connection needed to motivate students. Many scientific theories of education play a good example here. These widely supported theories argue that young learners are most motivated when they share an emotional relationship with their instructor. As most would agree expecting children to form emotional ties to machinery is unrealistic, the argument that technology will replace the teacher in the classroom can be debunked. In summary, a robotic teacher would lack the classroom Dynamism and emotional intelligence needed to be an effective instructor. Thus, it is clear that having a class run entirely by a machine is an idea that will not be realised any time soon. As this essay has shown, computer technology will not replace traditional human teachers in the foreseeable future.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s word, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
. Even in classrooms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. It
is disagreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will completely replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the classroom.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
both the inability of a technology-driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a classroom
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
this robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
hindrance to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
learning process will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this.

Firstly
, (cohesion word) a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
powered by artificial intelligence would have difficulty interpreting the educational needs of a classroom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, Honda Asimov, one of the world’s most advanced robots has trouble distinguishing simple human emotions. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s most advanced artificial intelligence cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorise' is British English.
categorise
these basic physical cues(action or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is a signal to do something), it is difficult to believe that a robot could be capable of altering study plans and teaching styles in a dynamic classroom setting.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
driven-teacher is not going to be operational anytime in the near future.

Secondly
, a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would not be able to establish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
connection needed to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientific theories of education play a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here. These
widely
supported theories argue that young learners are most motivated when they share an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
relationship with their instructor. As most would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
expecting children to form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
ties to machinery is unrealistic, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the classroom can
be debunked
.

In summary, a robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would lack the classroom Dynamism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotional
intelligence needed to be an effective instructor.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
run
entirely
by a machine is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that will not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
any time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. As this essay has shown, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not replace traditional human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay Technology becoming more common

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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