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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation mK0n
It is always argued that accepting the situation is better than trying to alter it. While others think that the motivation to change such situations is more effective and give better results. The question is, what is the best to do, trying to change or accepting the situations? I think that the desire to change is better than accepting the status that you are in. First of all, life has ups and downs, and the man should accept and feel satisfaction in the situation that he is facing. Having a bad career or uncomfortable job with a self-sense that everything is fine and I am feeling good with that, is thought is the best way to tackle this problem. Always, think positively and deal with your situations with a smile and satisfy your-self. On the other hand, others said that the desire to change the bad situations and status is the best way to tackle it and come over it. If you don’t have money, you don’t have to be satisfied with this, you need to change this! If you feel satisfied with being a poor person, you will have a shortage in your life with some essentials. Keep yourself-motivated to change reality and make your dream becomes true. In my point of view, I am totally with changing, and you should keep trying to change your current situation until you achieve what you want. In conclusion, two points of view of accepting your status without doing anything, or trying to change and direct the wheel on the way that you want. Definitely, I am with the team who said if you don’t change and improve what's around you, you are not alive.
It is always argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to alter it. While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
is more effective and give better results. The question is, what is the best
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
? I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
the status that you are in.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, life has ups and downs, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
should accept and feel satisfaction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
that he is facing. Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
career or uncomfortable job with a self-sense that everything is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fine and
I am feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with that, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is the best way to tackle this problem.
The adverb 'Always' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
Always
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
and deal with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
with a smile and satisfy your-self.

On the other hand
, others said that the desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and status is the best way to tackle it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
over it. If you don’t have money, you don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be satisfied
with this, you need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
this! If you feel satisfied with being a poor person, you will have a shortage in your life with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essentials.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
yourself-motivated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
reality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your dream becomes true.

In my point of view, I am
totally
with changing, and you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
until you achieve what you want.

In conclusion
, two points of view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accepting
your status without doing anything, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and direct the wheel on the way that you want. Definitely, I am with the team who said if you don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
what's around you, you are not alive.
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IELTS essay some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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