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Technology and tradition are inevitable-you cannot have together. To what extent do you agree with this ?

Technology and tradition are inevitable-you cannot have together. 663Ml
Undoubtedly, in this contemporary era technology acts as a sword to cut the boundaries of time and traditions resides in the heart and soul of a person but technology and culture cannot come together according to some thoughts. I am totally disagree with this point of view due to some benefits of technology that maintain traditional values. To commence with, there are some points of correlation between technology and rituals. The first and foremost is that celebration of traditional festivals can be modified with the help of internet. Such as, society can promote their cultural values on social applications like as you tube, Facebook, instagram and so on and also keep the existence as well as maintenance with showing the importance of moral values. Furthermore, heritage and technology can co-exit at various social platforms like as a person can enjoy and celebrate festivals and traditions from distance especially those are living in another corner of world with the help of video calling. In addition, cultures and technology can ce together to help economically to local community. For example, with the help of technology a country can introduce about their historical, traditional and cultural values and rituals that fetch visitors attraction. When they visit, they appreciate the hospitality and behaviour of local people and give the donations for their satisfaction. Moreover, in modern times, people are living in single families but they keep in touch with their culture with the help of technology. Like as, they can cook traditional food on festivals with the help of YouTube and also follow the traditional clothes by searching on google. In conclusion, traditional and cultural values can have together and maintain with the help of technology so there is no deny that these are not possible at same time, while, it keeps bonding between people from distance and in nuclear families.
Undoubtedly
, in this contemporary era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
acts as a sword to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the boundaries of time and traditions resides in the heart and soul of a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and culture cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thoughts. I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this point of view due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values. To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points of correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and rituals. The
first
and foremost is that celebration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
festivals can
be modified
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of internet. Such as, society can promote their cultural values on social applications like as
This word is normally spelled as one.
you tube
, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the existence
as well
as maintenance with showing the importance of moral values.
Furthermore
, heritage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can co-exit at various social platforms like as a person can enjoy and celebrate festivals and traditions from distance
especially
those are living in another corner of world with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of video calling.
In addition
, cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
ce
together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
economically
to local community.
For example
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
a country can introduce about their historical,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and cultural values and rituals that fetch visitors attraction. When they visit, they appreciate the hospitality and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and give the donations for their satisfaction.
Moreover
, in modern times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in single families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their culture with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Like as, they can cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
food on festivals with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of YouTube and
also
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothes by searching on google.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and cultural values can have together and maintain with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no deny that these are not possible at same time, while, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
bonding between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from distance and in nuclear families.
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IELTS essay Technology and tradition are inevitable-you cannot have together.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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