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It should be mandatory for teenagers to do unpaid local community service. This would benefit both teenagers and the local community. Do you agree or disagree?

It should be mandatory for teenagers to do unpaid local community service. This would benefit both teenagers and the local community. 2lJqk
Community service is essential to develop the area. Some people contemplate that this is necessary for youngsters to do this job at free of cost while others feel this is not vital for teenagers to enhance the community pertinent work. In this essay I will outline why I concur this is necessary for young people to work in these service. Community service will do by group of people, so youngsters will improve their circle by communicating with new people in their society. Indeed, they will work with all age groups due to this they develop new contacts, which will bolster their career in different angle. Ajay, for instance, he is an engineer searching job in his field, but he got some opportunity to work for community while working their he meet new people who will advocate him in his future prospects, so he easily got the opportunity what he want. Clearly, youngster will do this for free of cost because he also benefit from this service. Another reason is it will improve youngsters behaviour by working with older people. In other words, they will help elderly people in this service time and know how to takes care of them, which will help them in their future like how to respect people in office, business and other areas. In India, for instance, school students are doing these activities without earning money because they just want to clean their places and protect the environment from the dirty areas. Clearly, this will service will develop the community and young people mindset. In conclusion, social service is vital today for all the community. In my opinion, youngsters ought to be involved these activities because these skills not only enhance youngsters behaviour but also improve the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is essential to develop the area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contemplate that this is necessary for youngsters to do this job at free of cost while others feel this is not vital for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
pertinent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In this essay I will outline why I concur this is necessary for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will do by group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
youngsters will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their circle by communicating with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their society.
Indeed
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with all age groups due to this they develop new contacts, which will bolster their career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
angle. Ajay,
for instance
, he is an engineer searching job in his field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
while working their he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will advocate him in his future prospects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunity what he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
will do this for free of cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
also
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "benefits", "benefited", "benefitted".
benefit
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. Another reason is it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
youngsters
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by working with older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
time and know how to takes care of them, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future like how to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in office, business and other areas. In India,
for instance
, school students are doing these activities without earning money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to clean their places and protect the environment from the dirty areas.
Clearly
, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mindset.
In conclusion
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. In my opinion, youngsters ought to
be involved
these activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance youngsters
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
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IELTS essay It should be mandatory for teenagers to do unpaid local community service. This would benefit both teenagers and the local community.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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