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technological advancement. boon or bane

technological advancement. boon or bane ABA5l
The best thing since sliced bread. It’s a pleasant Sunday afternoon, you’ve just had brunch as you’ve overslept, got yourself a warm cuppa tea, grabbed your favourite book that you thought will finish reading over the weekend and got comfortable on the balcony swing. A cool breeze whiffs through your hair and you feel the fresh air on your face instantly waking you up from a rather drowsy state of mind. You thought of recollecting your thoughts, ponder upon the past week and think about your future. *ting* There goes the notification on your mobile phone. You glanced to check what it was, maybe it was something menial. You start scrolling through for a few more minutes. Then there are these other apps you have to check coz “FOMO. ” A vicious cycle of checking instagram, whatsapp, snapchat etc that have you hooked on for an hour or two. Now you feel tired because of the mindless scrolling that gave you a rush of dopamine similar to the one experienced while using a slot machine. You have learnt new information about the world, most of which is unnecessary and adds no significant value to your life. You got to know a very polished and refined version of your friends life through social media which subconsciously stung you, not in a bad way but it did. Curiosity, necessity coupled with our desire to better our life, led to the invention which is so remarkable that it fits within the palm of your hand. It has the phone numbers of every person you’ll ever need, before which we used to remember by heart. Plethora of information on the click of a finger, access to the happenings on the other part of the globe within minutes. It has made life easy to the likes of which our grandparents would have never imagined. It has made life easy nevertheless the repercussions that come with its overuse cannot be denied. Inventions are a part of life and one cannot always stay in the past. He should be adapting and seeking to improve his life at whatever minute way possible. However, a balance must be maintained. We got all this innovation but at what cost? We always have something to stare at on our phones however impervious It may be. As doctors, the pursuit of reaching the pinnacle of providing healthcare and comfort to the patients is be demanding of our time and energy, rarely do we have time for ourselves. Amid the chaos take out time for yourself, put the phone down and just be bored, once in a while, for a change!
The best thing since sliced bread.

It’s a pleasant Sunday afternoon, you’ve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had brunch as you’ve overslept,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
yourself a warm cuppa tea, grabbed your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
book that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
will finish reading over the weekend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
comfortable on the balcony swing. A cool breeze whiffs through your hair and you feel the fresh air on your face
instantly
waking you up from a
rather
drowsy state of mind. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of recollecting your thoughts, ponder upon the past week and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about your future. *ting* There goes the notification on your mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. You glanced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
what it was, maybe it was something menial. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
scrolling through for a few more minutes. Then there are these other apps you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOMO
. ” A vicious cycle of checking
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
snapchat
etc that have you hooked on for an hour or two.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
you feel tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the mindless scrolling that gave you a rush of dopamine similar to the one experienced while using a slot machine. You have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
new information about the world, most of which is unnecessary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
no significant value to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. You
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
to know a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
polished and refined version of your friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
through social media which
subconsciously
stung you, not in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it did.

Curiosity, necessity coupled with our desire to better our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, led to the invention which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
remarkable that it fits within the palm of your hand. It has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
numbers of every person you’ll ever need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to remember by heart. Plethora of information on the click of a finger, access to the happenings on the other part of the globe within minutes. It has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy to the likes of which our grandparents would have never imagined.

It has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy
nevertheless
the repercussions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with its overuse cannot
be denied
. Inventions are a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and one cannot always stay in the past. He should be adapting and seeking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at whatever minute way possible.
However
, a balance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be maintained
.

We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
all this innovation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at what cost? We always have something to stare at on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
however
impervious It may be.

As doctors, the pursuit of reaching the pinnacle of providing healthcare and comfort to the patients is
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
demanding of our time and energy, rarely do we have time for ourselves.

Amid the chaos take out time for yourself, put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
down and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be bored
, once in a while, for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
!
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IELTS essay technological advancement. boon or bane

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
438 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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