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Technical advancement have decreased the writing and mathematical skills of the students nowdays. Should the use of calculator and computer be limited or not? v.1

Technical advancement have decreased the writing and mathematical skills of the students nowdays. Should the use of calculator and computer be limited or not? v. 1
Raising a child is an extremely difficult task and raising them to be a responsible citizen would be every parents dream. Some believe that involving family members such as aunts and uncles would have a positive impact when fostering a child. I completely agree with this argument, as I believe this would not only bring a great learning experience to a child, but also aid the young one to be a good law abiding citizen. Other members of the family may carry a plethora of knowledge and experience that your own parents never have. In other words, members of the family, such as parents or grandparent have lived their lives longer than a child's parent, therefore, are considered to have many life experiences and an ample of knowledge that can be shared with a child. For instance, my own father were not mechanically sound, hence whenever there was a fault on our car he did not have a clue to resolve. However, an uncle of mine was a renowned race driver and having a close relationship with him during my younger days gave me enough experience to work on a combustion engine. Another point to consider is that, when an adolescent is exposed to a great amount of family members, the child automatically learns to a have greater human to human interaction and a solid bond. This can greatly affect the child's behaviour and assist to become a responsible law abiding citizen. For example, studies done by the State Penitentiary of California suggest that, the majority of the major crimes convicts either were raised by only one single parent or were raised in an orphanage throughout their lifetime. Meaning that they were fostered in isolation. In conclusion, I strongly believe that being exposed to the rest of the family members is critical and can greatly aid the child to learn a great amount of skills and knowledge. Also, raising a child in a non-isolated environment can make a child a good citizen.
Raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is an
extremely
difficult task and raising them to be a responsible citizen would be every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
dream.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
such as aunts and uncles would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact when fostering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument, as I believe this would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring a great learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
aid the young one to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
law abiding
citizen.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may carry a plethora of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
never have.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or grandparent have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
longer than a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
,
therefore
,
are considered
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
knowledge that can
be shared
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For instance
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
father were not
mechanically
sound,
hence
whenever there was a fault on our car he did not have a clue to resolve.
However
, an uncle of mine was a renowned race driver and having a close relationship with him during my younger days gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to work on a combustion engine.

Another point to consider is that, when an adolescent
is exposed
to a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
automatically
learns to a have greater human to human interaction and a solid bond. This can
greatly
affect the child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and assist to become a responsible
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
law abiding
citizen.
For example
, studies done by the State Penitentiary of California suggest that, the majority of the major crimes convicts either
were raised
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
or
were raised
in an orphanage throughout their lifetime. Meaning that they
were fostered
in isolation.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
being exposed
to the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is critical and can
greatly
aid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to learn a great amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
Also
, raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in a non-isolated environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Technical advancement have decreased the writing and mathematical skills of the students nowdays. Should the use of calculator and computer be limited or not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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