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teaching students food science or another topics

teaching students food science or another topics 9lGYW
While some argue that students have to study preparation of food and its science, many still insistent that other topics are much more important than this subject. Personally, I reckon that pupils should study different topics which have positive impact on themselves and societies alike. Firstly, due to the fact that community needs professions at different fields, the vast majority of people believe that students must learn courses rather than food ones. They claim that, once people were addicted at different sciences branches, this will inevitably raise invention level; therefore, country would thrive and be a competitor for lead countries internationally. Furthermore, countries economy is impossible to develop unless there were patents from there people. Hence, inciting students to study different topics, engineering or physics for instance, would facilitate the life of human being from financial and comfortable points. Secondly, since food science and its application have many positive consequences on our life, some people see that students must perfect it. For example. As food making is a practical skill, mastering it helps students to employ their senses and tools in different fields; however, this experience can students gain throughout various practical trails. Moreover, this denomination argue that student have to learn this topics otherwise they won't have healthy lifestyle. The best way to educate people about the importance of healthy food and risk of unhealthy lifestyle is to involve them with miscellaneous dishes preparation. Nonetheless, this knowledge might be acquired from different resources since education level of the people now is at its peak. In conclusion, although many people bet that it's better for students to learn practical science, some discuss that they should learn more about food science and application. Personally, I think food science is a complementary topic, and pupils have to focus more one applied classes.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study preparation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
insistent that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than this subject.
Personally
, I reckon that pupils should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on themselves and societies alike.

Firstly
, due to the fact that community needs professions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
courses
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
ones. They claim that, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were addicted
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
branches, this will
inevitably
raise invention level;
therefore
, country would thrive and be a competitor for lead countries
internationally
.
Furthermore
, countries economy is impossible to develop unless there were patents from
Did you mean "their"?
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, inciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
, engineering or physics
for instance
, would facilitate the life of human being from financial and comfortable points.

Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and its application have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences on our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
perfect it.
For example
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
making is a practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, mastering it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to employ their senses and tools in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields;
however
, this experience can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain throughout various practical trails.
Moreover
, this denomination argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
otherwise
they won't have healthy lifestyle. The best way to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of unhealthy lifestyle is to involve them with miscellaneous dishes preparation. Nonetheless, this knowledge might
be acquired
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
resources since education level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is at its peak.

In conclusion
, although
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bet that it's better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discuss that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and application.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a complementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
, and pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus more one applied classes.
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IELTS essay teaching students food science or another topics

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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